Friday, August 31, 2007

Sliding Feshs

Have you noticed how we are always trying to catch up with something? Be it just waking up a bit late and trying to catch up with your morning routine: shower, breakfast, news ...etc. Or maybe during work when one call runs over another one. And off course, the dreaded run across Frankfurt's terminal to catch your connection, classic. The thing I don't understand is how this became hardwired into our brains. Just yesterday I left work at 7pm and as I was on the escalator going down to the Underground I heard the sound of the train approaching. At that sound a couple of folks behind me on the escalator started running down to make sure they catch the train.

Now take a step back, this definitely makes sense if were 8am and some of those folks don't want to be late for work. But it was 7pm and from the looks of those folks they all looked to me like respectable fellow corporate slaves who just got off work. I can understand that they want to make sure to spend more time with their family, but considering that the next train comes in 2 mins, do you really need to run and catch it, after some 11 hours of good old corporate whoopeshing?

Maybe it's just me, but you know what every now and then when I'm returning home, I 'miss' a train. It's my way of rewarding myself for all the other catching up I need to do everywhere else. What's the worse that could happen?

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Smelly Fesh

So I have no hot water in my apartment since yesterday. Yeah, a pipe in the building broke and they are fixing it. It will take 2-3 more days to get fixed. If you see me and I smell funky you have been warned.

Oh, and this had to happen when it's already getting colder, so I'm already longing for a warm shower. Anywho, since I skipped shower today in the morning, I have to shower now. Cold water it is then, talk about ultra shrinkage :S

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Shower Gel & Condoms

For years advertisers used sex appeal to grab our attention to the advertisement. Today I witnessed the next level, using sex appeal to make you buy their products. Today, I was buying a shower gel and I see an Adidas shower gel bottle, sleek and fully black, written on it:

With Magnesium..

Needless to say, I bought it. Later on, I wondered if there is anything stimulating about a shower gel? Not to mention that instead of writing something like 'With Vitamin B5' they went with a more manly, heavy metal and probably poisonous metal like Magnesium. So yeah the big evil corporations finally broke into the complex male psyche, the golden rule is: Make the product you are selling sound like a lubricated condom.

...I guess it works.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Bar Dilemma

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine explained to me the Twelve Step program developed by Alcoholic Anonymous to help people get ride of their addictive habits. A key concept, he explained, is that the addiction is more powerful than you are and you have to admit this and basically try hard not to 'tempt or test yourself' when it comes to this addiction. This is very powerful, it's simply against everything else that you like to believe! Take smokers for example, most of them like to believe they can quite whenever they want, this program argues that they can't under their own will because they are weaker than the addiction.

This all came back to me today as I was brainstorming with a team on the preparation for a corporate training we are running. The corporate training aims at introducing some healthy habits in your daily routine like exercising regularly, drinking more water and drinking less or no alcohol. We were discussing the dinner and suddenly one person wondered: Does it make sense that we have an open bar, while we are trying to get people to drink less alcohol? Half the team agreed, while the other half argued that we are 'mature' enough to choose whether to drink or not.

If I had this discussion a month ago, I would have fully supported the 'mature'-side of the discussion, but if you apply this concept of not tempting or testing yourself, then we probably shouldn't have a bar, right? I know it's not an apples to apples comparison seeing that the folks we are running the training for are not alcoholics, but still as a principle, do you think we should:
A. Have the bar (since we're mature and therefore should have the choice)
B. Not have the bar (since we are weaker than our addiction and should not test or tempt ourselves).

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Mars Hoax

I must say I was evilly amused when I started seeing folks on Facebook signing up to all those 'events' that were created to witness the 'once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity' that's going to happen on the 27th of August. The so-called Mars Hoax which started circulating the Internet 4 years ago, about a close encounter between Mars and the Earth. This year it made its way as multiple Facebook events, instead of the usual email forward. Although the close encounter, back in 2003, is true, the hoax exaggerates the encounter by saying that Mars will be as big as the Moon in the sky on the 27th of August. Clearly BS.

What really amused me is the amount of people who are 'attending' these events. One event had around 15,000 attendees! It's amusing right? It's so much easier to accept an invitation and trust the random dude who sent it to you, instead of spending 2 seconds to Google it. After all, this dude is, for sure, more credible then NASA:

The idiocy of the Facebookians amuses me.

*You have to imagine me sitting on a big leather chair, looking at little Facebookians running around clueless like hamsters in a small glass box. I should look like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.*

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I Want To Believe

I wasn't abducted before, but I firmly believe that alien life forms exist. Why? Well on Earth we have life forms (e.g. bacteria) living in very hostile conditions like under kilometers of sea water or high-up on mount Everest. This, along with the fact that everyday we discover a couple of more "Earth-like" planets half the way across the universe is an enough proof for me that statistically it's very probable that somewhere on the other side of the universe there are some bacteria living in a water pond, maybe even as close as Europa!

The part with little green men in silver jumpsuits landing in secret is the one I hate. Let's be honest to ourselves, if aliens ever find us first there are only two likely outcomes: A. We build a very successful interplanetary economic relationship. B. They eliminate us. Let's take a simpler example, during the last couple of thousands of years we had very different civilizations on Earth come in contact with each other and the outcome was always one of the two above. China, Greece and Egypt have enjoyed periods of flourishing economic cooperation. While the Spanish empire managed to wipe out most several civilizations in it's conquest to colonize the New World. History doesn't tell us of "sightings" of Greeks in fancy white robes riding a circular horse-drawn wagon who regularly abducted Chinese people in the 3rd century B.C. and anally probing them later, right?

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Will the Fesh lose his luggage?

For a long time I was contemplating whether to blog about this or not. It's simple, if I blog about it I am probably going to jinx risk no fun I guess? Okay, over may many travels I have never lost my luggage. And I don't mean lost as in it never got back to me, I mean lost as in I never waited at the belt and the luggage didn't come!

Yeah I guess I'm lucky, especially that I travel quite often. So, this time when I was coming to elCairo I chose to fly Austrian Airlines although it has only 30 min connection time in Vienna. Most of my colleagues who flew Austrian to Warsaw did lose their luggage! Against all warnings, I decided what the hell, if I am ever to lose my luggage I want to know about it! (I am messed up in the head).

So here I am sitting at the lounge at Cairo Airport after I checked in my luggage, and just in all honesty I did ask the hot chikita at the check-in counter to put a 'priority' tag on my bag. So what do you think, let's get the voting going will it be:

A. I will get my luggage normally at the belt in Warsaw.
B. I will lose my luggage, but it will come on the next flight.
C. I will lose my luggage for good?

Leaving elCairo...again

It's been almost a year and a half since I left elCairo for Warszawa. In hindsight, I think it's one of those decisions that changed me forever. Before heading of to Warszawa, my life was very classical. Born in elCairo and studied there, lived with my family, worked in elCairo and had fun with my in elCairo. Now with the move, everything changed, I needed to get used to living alone, making new friends, getting accustomed to a new culture, language ...etc.

Off course I learned a lot of things, and I am still learning but the one thing that really amazed me and still does is how my home sickness grows, exponentially, every time I come back. Everytime I come back, I dread the day I'm going to leave. The day I leave my friends and family and go back to leaving in my 'spacious' apartment back in Warszawa. The day I stop doing random non-sensecal plans, like heading to elfishawy cafe at 4am and start planing to attend house parties 2 weeks in advance. The day I leave elCairo, that is today.

Friday, August 17, 2007




Does whatever a SPIDER PIG does

Can he swing

From a web

No he cant

He's a pig


He is a SPIDER PIG!!

(I have it as an MP3 too)

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

My 100th Post!

It's my 100th post! very exciting! It's been a year since I started blogging already and I thought of celebrating my 100th post by awarding some fake awards to my previous posts, here goes:

Most worrying post co-awarded to: Be afraid & The Orwellian Side of Me
Most Polska-specific post awarded to: Itdependance
Most ego-centric post awarded to: The Feshfactor
Most post likely to be featured as a motion picture awarded to: Angry Demons
Most weird post awarded to: The B.E.F.
Most funny post awarded to: Inferior Teristial Beings
Best psychotic series awarded to: The Simpsons Countdown (T-10/T-9/T-8/T-7/T-6/T-5/T-4/T-3/T-2/T-1/T)
Best Dilbert-style post awarded to: Behold a new Species
Best collaborative post awarded to: Battle Plans

This year's Best post, by popular demand, is awarded to: My Bed

Thank you and pls stay tuned for 2008's awards to be announced August 2008.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

I Have Never..

...worn a bra.
* all girls drink, eh.. I kinda take a sip too.

...paid for sex.
*I drink, no one else does (yeah right!)

Since we apply a strict 'no details' rule for this drinking game, it was alright to share since no one would ever know the details. The night took an interesting turn however when we switched to Spin the Bottle, oh man there's alot of dirt on everyone by that time. Me likey :)

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Fesh, I am Your Father....

So a friend of mine got just got this uber home theater and we wanted to put it to the test. We kept thinking about the ULTIMATE movie marathon to initiate the home theater with. Lord of the Rings came up, but I objected seeing that I am in the middle of the second book right now and don't want to spoil it. I pushed for an ultimate Rocky marathon, but surprisingly the idea was shot down. Finally we agreed to watch Star Wars, or as the nerdy dude at the DVD store called it: The Holy Trilogy.

It was very interesting that after a couple of beers and midway thru The Empire Strikes Back we were intrigued by Darth Vader's ability to choke people using the "Force" yet without touching them. Seemed like a very kool way to kill someone. Later we were blown away by the fact that Darth Vader could do the same remotely! One of the guys wondered loudly if having such a capability "Remotely Choking to Death" as a nice colorful button on our internal Instant Messaging tool at work, was a good idea. Off course we can tone it down like maybe make it send a 3-second electric shock to the other person or something, but other than that sign me up.

hmmm.... maybe nerdy sci-fi movies and beer is not a good combination after all?

Feshtoid # 5269

Today I learned that 80% of all women in Egypt wear the hijab (i.e. cover their hair with the Islamic head scarf). Seeing that Christians are 10% of the population, this means that 50% of all women without hijab are statistically Christian. I found that very interesting, because as a teenager all my Muslim friends used to tease me that I have 1 in 10 chance of the girl being Christian, now with the hijab factor in I have 1 in 2 chance!

I don't know why I'm blogging about this, it's not like I meet random girls all the time and I have a need to determine their religion! It's just something that I was teased so much about while growing up and I was happy to hear this statistic. Yes, teenage Fesh is still alive in me.

But in all fairness I think my calculation is biased, seeing that this number is over total population and my guess is that the hijab penetration is much higher with certain socio-economic classes and also in specific areas. So probably if you factor that in, probably folks I mingle with would be more at 50% hijab penetration, which means statistically I have a 1 in 5 chances.... ah crap .......back to square one :S