Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Behold ... a new Species!

The first species in the Homo (Latin for Man) genus (a genus is a grouping of similar species) first appeared over 2.5 million years ago in our archeological records. Over this span of time, we evolved from Homo Habilis (Handy Man) to Homo Ergaster (Working Man) to almost 10 more species of Homos (insert your preferred gay joke or remark here pls) before we hit Homo Sapiens (Man The Thinker).

Now, seeing how I behave in the office recently I believe I've mutated into Homo Corporatus (Man The Corporate Offices Dweller). Three key reasons drive me to believe that I AM the first of my species:

1. I have developed a phobia of feeling that even if I'm on mute while in a conference call everyone on the other end of the line can hear me. This phobia is magnified if I am on a VERY long call and I need to pee. I have to go through a cycle of muting and un-muting my phone 3-4 times to make SURE that not everyone in the call will hear me answering natural's call.

2. At the end of the call I summarize it, agree on next steps and thank my mother for her time.

3. I wait for my daily Dilbert comic strip to show up in inbox. I check it eagerly as soon as it comes in. At first I find them lame. Then, I find it ironic that I was in a similar situation at one point. Later I laugh. I then cry. Daily.

Read this:


wyVern said...

weird, I also have the mute phobia thing but then I have always been paranoid so I know where that comes from, however under no circustances EVER do I take my phone with me while I pee, thats nastyyyyyy :P

Homer said...

Well *ahm* I have my reasons:
1. I technically WORK on the phone today I was on the phone for almost 10 hours!
2. I pee
3. I drink lots of water and coffee
4. I pee
5. I live in Warsaw which is very cold
6. I pee MORE.

Dont judge me man: iPee therefore iAm.