Thursday, November 15, 2007

The Bicycle Lover

Recently there have been a couple of interesting stories about psychos having sex with weird things. I remember reading about the dude who had sex with a road sign? Aren't those signs sharp and metaly? But the most interesting one is that one, sex with a bicycle! The article explains that the 'offender' was discovered in a hostel by the cleaning staff. After knocking on the door and not getting any reply, they used the master key to get in only to find the dude nekked and pleasuring his bicycle. If you think this is weird enough, wait it get better. The first thing the cleaning staff did was call the Police! Why call the police, after walking in on a a 51-year old dude nekked with his johnson stuck in a bicycle? Here are my best guesses:
A. The cleaning staff couldn't tell if the bicycle was of the legal age or not.
B. The dude actually asked them to call the police because he was trying to get freaky with the bicycle and ended up stuck in between the gears.

Help me understand how is walking in on this pervert any different from walking in on a dude in his hotel room while he's masturbating? Don't you think cleaning staff do walk in on folks doing all sorts of weird stuff all the time? Do you think they report them? Do you read about people discovered masturbating in their hotel rooms everyday? No you don't. This case aint different, clearly he's a very sad sad old man, whose life is already down the drain (he lives in a hostel and has a casual relationship with a bicycle?). But yeah, I can see the cleaning dude's angle: Oh well why not report his ass to the police, so that he's first violated in the media and then thrown in prison only to become someone else's 'bicycle'.


NileGirl said...

hahaaaa! I like it when you wrote, "only to become someone else's 'bicycle'". That's my favorite part of the whole story.

Although I'm having a difficult time picturing this exactly (possibly for the better) I completely agree with your point here. Better an unsuspecting bicycle than an unsuspecting person don't you think? They sentenced him to 3 yrs probation too! Why is a bike illegal? Unless it was someone else's bike it's just as legal as anything the poor bastard could have bought from his local XXX toy store.

And who's this dude with a road sign? What the hell was he doing with it? Sticking it up his own ass? Actually, don't tell me. I'd rather keep my innocence.

Munqy said...

Apparently, it was non-consensual. The bike kept ringing its own bell (bikespeak for no), but the dude was having none of it and kept forcing himself on it.

Of course, there is always the chance that they mean 3agala in the Egyptian sense, and it wasn't mechanical at all.

Feshfesh said...

hehehehehehe 3agala :D Munqy... you're sick... but it's alright.. Oh and rumor has it there's a made for TV movie in the making now to capture this horrific story. It's going to be staring Youssra the bicycle

*Fesh prepares to get owned by nilegirl being Youssra's #1 fan.

Oh and yeah the dude with the road signs, here's the story

Feshfesh said...

Sorry, here's the correct link.

NileGirl said...

Yousra can play the part of the bicycle only if I get to play the 51 year old sick bastard. MOUAHAHAHA

Seriously though. please leave Yousra out of your stories from now on. She's MINE ok?

Oh and ya3ny eh 3agala in the Egyptian sense?

Feshfesh said...

Daaaaammmmnnnnn you're a hardcore fan! Remind me never to cross again when it comes to Yousra!

But seriously now, we have already casted the role for the 51 year old sick bastard, it will be played by Steven Sigal. The director thinks he's a perfect match.

I might have a role for you thought, we'r doing another movie about the dude with the road signs... we have an opening for a STOP sign...interested?

NileGirl said...

lol... you're so pyscho.

Feshfesh said...

*Fesh blushes

Forsoothsayer said...

they probably called the police cos they thought he was a dangerous maniac...still wrong tho. howa 7or ma3 3agalto ya3nee.

Feshfesh said...

hehehehehehehe... yeah this story with the word 'Bicycle' replaced with '3agala' would be very normal :D