Sunday, July 20, 2008

Wait For It...

So CERN is getting ready to fire up its Doomsday Device in August. How do you think the thriving underground world of doomsday cults is preparing for this, obviously, very relevant event?

42 comments:

Munqy said...

Apparently, they're cooling the damn thing to just 1.9K. That's just over 2 degrees above absolute zero and about as cold as possible to achieve artificially.

They're then going to fire 2 beams of energized protons around the magnetic tunnel at close to light speeds for them to hit one another, where they will release cataclysmic amounts of energy. Basically they're recreating the big bang.

IT'S CALLED THE FREAKING BIG BANG PEOPLE, AND YOU WANT TO DO IT AGAIN?

And Switzerland? I mean dude, they're Swiss. If we attract the attention of aliens who come to invade, the Swiss'll probably go neutral and refuse to fight the little green men.

Apparently, some of the things they might create are:

Micro black holes: Apparently they would decay quickly and no do any harm. Because he have, obviously, been dealing with black holes for so long that we know all there is about them. Oh wait, no we haven't, we've only winessed them by their effect on other stellar bodies where they just suck everything up.

Strangelet: Little fuckers. Any matter they come into contact with, they turn into strange matter. One strangelet hits a nucleus, catalyzing its immediate conversion to strange matter. This liberates energy, producing a larger, more stable strangelet, which in turn hits another nucleus, catalyzing its conversion to strange matter. In the end, all the nuclei of all the atoms of Earth are converted, and Earth is reduced to a hot, large lump of strange matter. Sounds fun, yes? I've always wanted to be a lump of strage matter.

False vacuum: Some people think that we live in something called a false vacuum. I have no idea what that means, but apparently if a bubble of lower energy level were created it would obliterate the Earth instantly without any warning. Hypothetically, the LHC can create them.

Now I'm all for pushing the frontiers of science, but holy shit man. We don't know enough about all this strange physics to just go "let's make some strange matter! What'll happen after that? No idea. Let's find out!" followed by: kablooey. Except we won't be around to hear it.

Feshfesh said...

It amuses me that we have developed enough understanding of the world that we know that the outcome of one of our experiments might obliterate the earth.

Sure it's highly unlikely. But what I don't get is what is highly unlikey when it comes to destroying the earth? So yes when you board a plane you know there's a 1 in a million chance that it will crash, but we can tolerate a plan crash every 10 or so years... I'm not sure we accommodate blowing up the earth every so many years?!

And DUDE what the hell? Your comment is like a post in it's own right? What are you implying? That my post was tiny?

I keel you.

Munqy said...

Leetal post, leetal man...

Thing is dude, we have no freaking idea how unlikely it is or isn't. We just don't know. There really isn't much that can compare to this if the worst fear mongering is anywhere near true.

I'm prepping my intergalactic space ship now i case things get nasty...

Feshfesh said...

SHOTGUN!

No way man! Particle coliders have been in use for years.. it's true this one is uber-grand... but I'm sure they have some data from previous experiments... right?RIGHT?

Munqy said...

Let's talk about it on the way to Betelgeuse, yes?

Feshfesh said...

Fine. But you'd better have a pool at your place in Betelgeuse... I haven't peed in days.

madwomaninatic said...

great... now they want to blow the damn planet up...or have it sucked into a black hole... maybe it's better this way.

When I was a kid, i always wanted to go into a black hole in space, i had very elaborate fantasies about ending up on some interesting planet with loads of hot guys who all want me to be the queen, and discovering that i'm really from that other planet... but i digress...never mind my childhood... maybe it will take us somewhere more interesting. And, hey, we're all goin' together, the whole damn planet! we won't be alone and we'll have a blast...oops, no pun intended!

now, i find the stranglet theory most interesting, as it promises to preserve the planet, but to change its form... now that would be interesting to experience. we may actually survive and mutate into strange creatures, or turn into some other form of matter.

right, now, do you have room on the intergalactic space ship, cuz i may want to watch the planet's destruction from a distance, on tv or something...

Feshfesh said...

Oh, I like where this fantasy is going...(if it's anything like Fantasy Island 7).... so pls do share more :D

...and I called shotgun, so you could get the backseat...

madwomaninatic said...

ahhh... my childhood fantasies... i'll post them on my own blog, so, if you're interested, check it out from time to time (how's that for a promotional strategy for my blog?)

(sorry, but what is Fantasy island 7? I dont own a tv, so i'm a bit backward with anything entertainment-related)

or maybe i'll share more on the intergalactic trip, we'll probably spend a lot of quality time together, and bond as we watch earth blow up...

Feshfesh said...

I'm sold man, I'll be your biggest fan, but you have to promise juicy fantasies.

Oh yeah the trip, and as you know, Munqy's driving skills are equivalent to that of a retarded beaver... so we're going to be stuck on that trip for a long..long...LONG time..

...and shame on you for not knowing one of the best known pornos out there...shame.

DailyAntics said...

i think munqy's head will explode before the earth does.

madwomaninatic said...

yeah right!

i bet it's a dumbass sci-fi show for kids or something and you are preying on my ignorance... i'm googling it right now... yep, seems like i'm right... na, I can definitely do better on my blog. stay tuned!

Feshfesh said...

Then damn it woman post! post!

madwomaninatic said...

pity, i have to leave you all now, cuz i have a meeting :( (sigh) but i'll leave you in suspense, and to your own imagination!

Feshfesh said...

Boooooooooo! Stay and play...

Embee said...

Bah.. I'm late.. and not even fashionably late this time..

Oooh.. Can I pick where the most damage lands? I've had this list of places I want bombed for years, and now sounds like a good time.

Who should I talk to in this case?

Feshfesh said...

I'm sorry, put I've already flooded the request queue with a certain location that I will not disclose.

And where have you been man?! You missed the tiny post, the mega comment, the space ship and Fantasy Island 7 for GOD'S SAKE?!

Embee said...

Ehm if you must know, I was busy dodging 10 days of vacation alone with the parents. I had to summon all the world's wizards, evil forces, pay a hefty hefty bribe and cross fingers frantically..

How about you let my 1 location in to the list? I'll trade it for a night with Megan Fox & 2 truck-loads of Haribo..

Feshfesh said...

Oh mama! Harribo you say! *ahm*... I mean Megan Fox? FINE, fill-up an application and I'll see what I can do about it...

So... in a vain effort to steer the comments back to the subject of the post, had you been a doomsday cult leader, how you prepare for such a joyous occasion?

Munqy said...

MEGAN FOX IS MINE, ALL MINE!!!!!!

Feshfesh said...

Hey hey... can you focus on driving/flying?

Embee said...

@ munqy: um, I hate to break the news to you, but I have the deed to Megan right here.. I can give it to whomever I want..

Munqy said...

Embee, do you want a place on my spaceship to Betelgeuse or not? I think that's just about a fair trade for Megan, right?

Feshfesh said...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm... beetle-juice...

Embee said...

Window-seat and I want refreshments during the trip to be served by Olivier Martinez.

You got yourself one whole night with the lovely Ms Mikaela, Munqy

Incidentally, did you know she was on "Hope & Faith" too? :P

Feshfesh said...

Should I be getting some sort of a commission since I'm pimping my blog for you guys to sort out your "deals"?

Embee said...

How about a lap dance? I heard Olivier gave awesome lap dances..

That would be suitable commission, no?

Feshfesh said...

Fine. Give me the coupon.

madwomaninatic said...

wow! this conversation is becoming increasingly interesting... olivier martinez giving lap dances certainly sounds good to me!

Feshfesh said...

Get in line sister.

madwomaninatic said...

as in "get in line for your turn for olivier's lap dance"?

hey, i thought you were interested in megan! olivier is for the girls!

Feshfesh said...

*ahm*... yes, Megan... of course.

madwomaninatic said...

uh oh! seems like munqy is right about you after all!

Feshfesh said...

Your allegations wont hold up in a court of law. You've got nothing.

Feshfesh said...

...and can someone pls entertain my latest witty post with a witty comment? :D

madwomaninatic said...

hehehe... i have my own ways to prove it!

madwomaninatic said...

what witty post? oh, you mean the one about sarkozy? i'll chk it out when i've got time!

Feshfesh said...

I assure you all the photo evidence in Munqy's possession is Photoshoped.

And yeah the one with Sarkozy about the Irish vote!

Munqy said...

Dude, do you really want me to start with the whole picture thing again? You know the pics I have in my possesion, and I am not afraid to post them.

Feshfesh said...

You got it. No peeing in your pool, do we have a deal?

Embee said...

You'll all be getting copies of my itinerary so I don't keep missing interesting comments and arriving too late..

Fesh: I was at Diptychal's today, and movies came up. At one point she was like "the guy in Poland, the one we both know." in reference to a movie you recommended to her. And it took me quite a number of guesses until we got to Fesh :P :P :P

I totally blame it on the lead compounds I've been inhaling for the past 27 years.

Feshfesh said...

Oh.... I can see how "the guy in Poland, the one we both know" could have been misleading(?).

Maybe if you used the correct technical term for Poland: The Frozen Wastelands?