Gifts

I hate gifts, they hate me back and we have this thriving mutual disrespect. I overthink gifts, I keep thinking about the pros and cons of every gift idea and at the end I can't decide which is really the best one. This issue only happens when I'm giving gifts, with me I know exactly what I need *Fesh pets his uberPod*.

So, back in December we were having this traditional Frozen Wastelandees Christmas dinner at work. As the Wastelanders enjoyed their cold fish, coated with gelatin and smothered with pig fat, I imagined myself at my happy place (Burger King) and tried to kill time by trying to guess the gender of the person from the present they got. We were doing this secret Santa thing where each person gets a gift and then we redistribute them randomly. Here are my observations:

• Two small Christmas tree decorations put in a small paper bag. => Guy present.
• A Festive paperbag with a mug (which in turn was wrapped in a different gift wrapping) inside and then inside the mug a little plastic bag with 3 small Christmas tree decorations. Oh and the dead giveaway: the paperbag was sellotaped-shut. => Girl present.
• 50ml bottle of vodka not wrapped in anything. => Guy present.
  

I know. I'm good.

Random Conversations #59123

I got inspired by Eureka to post some of the weird conversations I have with my friends. I decided to post this one, which happened on the Walls of Facebook:

Fesh: HEY! I demand some lovin'. Leaving a bruder freezing like that in the Frozen Wastelands with no lovin'... SHAME...SHAME!
Beco: *Beco stands next Fesh looking down like emperor penguins
Fesh: *Fesh lays an egg.
Beco: KHEYAAAAAAAANAH!
Beco: hey did you ever wonder how birds do it? I mean with dogs its doggie style.. what about birds?!?! Birddie style?! and how does that look? Not a right conversation to have on a wall ey?
Fesh: No no.. it's the perfect conversation to have... so in my mind the Birddie-style entails the use of the wings... so they are hovering in the air and the wing flapping is moderating... you know...*ahm*.. the rhythm?
Beco: hmmm.. interesting look on things.. have you noticed that everything is kinda doggie style?!? cats - dogs - cows - deer.. why was it attributed to the dog?!?
Fesh: pffffff... pls.. that is so simple... why do we call things Feshfeshy though they might be Fesh-related or not? It's the same reason really... think about it...
Beco: touche.. I am not worthy to be in the path of your infinite wisdom! Thank you sense
......but if you really think about it.. anything called Feshfeshy, usually is fesh related.. puny, hairy & questionable!!
Fesh: ...and the student becomes the master. You are ready.

Bloggers Anonymous

I don't get it. Why does everything have to be so anonymous on the Blogosphere? Most bloggers refrain from using their real names or real nicknames. Some bloggers even live their alter ego online. Why is that? Why is it that the bloggers 'real' friends are always reduced to capital letters like 'K' or 'H' or 'M'? or fake descriptive nicknames like 'AngelEyes'?

One explanation is that the blogger is considerate of the privacy of their friends and don't want to mention their real names/nicknames. But, when you tell such a story in real life, you either don't mention your friends (if their role is not important) or you mention them because it's important to the story. I never recall having heard a story from a person, even if I JUST met and I know nothing about him, that went: So I was with my friend, let's call her "B". Right? So why is it that when this same story is being told to the same random people but now on the Blogosphere suddenly it has to be riddled with Capital Letter People?

You can argue that, unlike a story to a random person over a drink in a bar, the story 'sticks' on the Blogosphere. That is, it will be there for years to come documented and neatly indexed by Google (all hail our Overlord). Which is true, but then again, why doesn't the blogger opt for not mentioning who exactly from thier friends, I don't see how knowing that this friend can be refereed to as "K" adds to the plot line? Do you think it's just to feel that they are still in control? An internal power struggle in the blogger's head since they are exposing SO much on thier blog that they want to feel they are still in control and holding back on something? Like their real names or their friends'?

Coffee HIGH

MUST.
NOT.
INDULGE.
IN.
ITALIAN.
COFFEE.

*Fesh dies.

Vote For Your Favorite City!

Came across this today, Monopoly is asking people to vote for their favorite cities to include them in the next release of Monopoly. So kool! Vote!

Black Fesh 7.0

(We Will CRUSH Them)

Black Fesh 6.0

When Fesh left the creepy old man's dungeon, he wasn't smiling. There was no familiar smoke figure above the chimney either. The old man leveled with Fesh, the Ivorians have reached him before Fesh did. When Fesh offered to double or triple whatever the Ivorians were paying, the old man explained that it was too late. Fesh understood when he saw on the old man's desk the familiar figure:
There is no way they can overcome the spell cast against them now. It's almost impossible.... yet miracles happen.

Olympic Fesh

When Wikilink makes it to the Olympics, I'm going to be Egypt's (and probably the world's) first nerd-turned-Olympian. I might not be the fastest on the pitch or the best with those freakishly fast tennis/ squash/ basketball/ volleyball balls, but damn it I have the excellent motor skills for Wikilink. I have trained all my life for this! As soon as the race starts I become one with the keyboard, the mouse and the scroller wheels and I fall into the reality of ht Wiki, a reality I like and feel comfortable in. It's true that I might not know all the ways of the Wiki that Master Munqy do. But I will learn.. and mark my words, when that day comes I'll be right there on the podium.

Black Fesh 5.0

So are you sure this time? Asked the the creepy old man as he added the dented golden hoof to the mix. Oh, yes, I'm sorry about last time. I must have confused you. Explained Fesh. Confused me?! Repeated the old man. Your weak soul is not capable of this. NOW... take this and microwave it just before the game starts. Should do the effect.

Fesh put the stinky package into this microwave, turned the knob to high and set the timer for 5 mins, as the old man recommended. At around 4 mins and 37 seconds the cover popped open and the gooey matter stained the glass with this pattern:

(oh, I forgot to ask the old man for a spell for Cameroon, but I'm confident Tunisia will send the Lions home tonight)

Black Fesh 4.0

The creepy old man went into his small room and closed the door behind him. As he turned on the lights a cold voice came from behind him: I've been expecting you. The old man turned sharply to find Fesh sitting on his desk petting a white chihuahua. A pale smile came across the old man's face as he approached Fesh: Look, regarding the last spell, after you left Jade showed up and she.. Fesh interrupted: The sick sick things you do for Jade do not interest me... and I haven't come here for an explanation. Then why did you come here? Your game is tomorrow? Fesh threw the chihuahua away and walked towards him saying: Our game we'll talk tomorrow. Now, I have put a lot of money on today's games. I want to be sure there will be no surprises.

After Fesh left, the old man opened the the envelop he left for him. Inside were two small postcards. It is going to be an easy spell, thought the old man.

The Fesh Factor: Jan 08

I give you The Fesh Factor article for January 2008. Proudly sponsored by Twinings Green Tea.
(you can enlarge the picture by clicking on it and it opens up in full screen)
..and the actual article:
Hail me, for EyE R STILL DAS UBER Published Fesh.