Monday, February 25, 2008

Gifts

I hate gifts, they hate me back and we have this thriving mutual disrespect. I overthink gifts, I keep thinking about the pros and cons of every gift idea and at the end I can't decide which is really the best one. This issue only happens when I'm giving gifts, with me I know exactly what I need *Fesh pets his uberPod*.

So, back in December we were having this traditional Frozen Wastelandees Christmas dinner at work. As the Wastelanders enjoyed their cold fish, coated with gelatin and smothered with pig fat, I imagined myself at my happy place (Burger King) and tried to kill time by trying to guess the gender of the person from the present they got. We were doing this secret Santa thing where each person gets a gift and then we redistribute them randomly. Here are my observations:
  • Two small Christmas tree decorations put in a small paper bag. => Guy present.
  • A Festive paperbag with a mug (which in turn was wrapped in a different gift wrapping) inside and then inside the mug a little plastic bag with 3 small Christmas tree decorations. Oh and the dead giveaway: the paperbag was sellotaped-shut. => Girl present.
  • 50ml bottle of vodka not wrapped in anything. => Guy present.
I know. I'm good.

33 comments:

Nora said...

There are so many factors you're overlooking...

Were any of the men gay?

Were any of the women bitchy alcoholics?

There are more options.. things are not always that black and white!!

;o)

Feshfesh said...

oooooouuuuuuuuuu .. I like your thinking! Come to think of it... there were a few suspicious ones..

hhmmmmmmm... you have devastated my theory...all my life's work...gone... there's nothing else to live for.

*Fesh gets out his ceremonial dagger..

Munqy said...

So what if you get a pair of kinkly leather thongs?

Munqy said...

Kinkly is like kinky but better, because it has an extra l.

Feshfesh said...

...as in Lots of Kinky?

Munqy said...

...as in Ludicrously Lofty Loads of kinky.

Feshfesh said...

oh mama.. so your orginal question would read: So what if you get a pair of ludicrously loftly loads kinky leather thongs?

*Fesh dies

Nora said...

What if you get a leather whip with fur trim?

Would that be considered kinky or kinkly?

Would it be from a man or woman?

Feshfesh said...

Leather whip with a fur trim? I'd consider that childish!

ADMINISTRATE THE CLAMPS!

Munqy said...

*Munqy blushes.

Leather whip with fur trim would definitely be from a Munqy...

Nora said...

fesh..

leather whip, fur trim, and any form of the word child should not be used together in a comment...

ever...


munqy,
so, it was from you!! Thanks. I love the present!
umm, wanna come over?
;)

Feshfesh said...

*Fesh cramps with the tiny webcam behind the 1-way mirror and waits for the action to break...

Jade said...

So the party died out too soon huh?

Oh well...I guess it's just not the same with Jade not around.

Feshfesh said...

Do something damn it Jade!!
There's not enough porn on my blog!
WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO!

Munqy said...

*Munqy strips naked and runs through Fesh's blog.

Nora said...

Yeah, I am quite pathetic at this porn thing...
I am a tease.. I talk a lot but I guess I do not deliver..
(contrary to the belief of most Egyptians!)

;)

Jade.. I guess your presence is needed to save this situation..

Munqy..
come here babbbbbyyyyy!!!!

Jade said...

Nora,

Let's strike a deal... You could have Fesh - if you leave me Munqy.

What do you say?

Let the party begin?

Feshfesh said...

hey hey hey.. I don't want Nora, she's a tease. *giggle*

Munqy said...

Yay, I get to be abused!

Feshfesh said...

Yeap... like the times we had "sheesha" togther.

Munqy said...

Sssshhhhhhhh, they might ask for the pictures.

Feshfesh said...

oh true. But honestly I don't worry about those. I worry about the ones we are "playing tawla"...if you know what I mean.

Munqy said...

Oh yeah I remember that. I still have the friction burns on the back of my hands.

Feshfesh said...

Told you throwing in this 400hp industrial sander was just taking it a bit too far.. but ...noooo.. you knew better.

Munqy said...

Come on, are you telling me that a few scars weren't worth that experience? I mean, the 60 virgin 80-year-olds we had with us were just blown away, I tell ya. They'd never seen anything like it, and we had already hired them for that thing we had last year, so it's not like they weren't used to freaky.

Feshfesh said...

I donno man, I think we’re getting a bit old for pulling out those stunts. And what thing we did last year? I can't remember anything? Did we do that before or after this time I woke up in that hospital in Switzerland totally blank and with a cast... you know... down there?

Munqy said...

Oh you woke up in Switzerland BECAUSE of that thing. I tell you man, you went too far trying to launch yourself like that - armpits are simply not made to take that kind of strain. You probably don't remember because of all the liquified rhino scrotums we were drinking.

Feshfesh said...

I'd kill for one of those liquified rhino scrotums now... what's the vol on those babies 70%? 80%?

Munqy said...

Oh I think they defied the rules of physics and logic and were actually over 100%.

Feshfesh said...

hmmmm... wouldn't it be kool if after you die, you get 1 wish? I'd wish for an infinte supply of those babies....aaahhhhhh... now that's afterlife.

Nora said...

Jade,

Hmm, I guess it's a deal... but you are winning...
Munqy is much hotter than Fesh!

Well, I dunno.. I think I met him before this whole 80 year old virgin, friction burn, rhino scrotum ordeal... can't be sure anymore...

Munqy said...

Oh no, you're right, I R hawt. Truly.

Nora said...

Jade,

Just got some inside info...

Munqy is still as hawt as ever...

Go for it....!