Black Fesh 3.0

Fesh watched as the creepy old man mixed a combination of black beetle concentrate, green monkey testicles, golden scorpion legs and dried-up red rat eyes. A small hunchback figure emerged from the corner of the dark room, with the last ingredient: a bold eagle's unhatched egg. Fesh, now a regular client of the old man, knew that he doesn’t like to be disturbed as he works. So Fesh left the payment on the desk and quickly left the underground dungeon. As Fesh walked away he suddenly realized that if they win today they’ll qualify as first of the group and thus meet Ivory Coast in the semifinals! A highly unfavorable situation especially considering Ivory Coast's performance this tournament! But if they lose today, they would qualify as second of the group and they’ll –probably- have a much easier team in the semifinals! In a way, by losing today they might book their ticket to the finals! Fesh realizing the huge mistake he has done quickly turns back, only to find that it was too late. A familiar smoke figure hung above the old man’s chimney:

My Evil uberPod

I've always believed that my uberPod has an evil sense of humor, maybe it's the way it silently mocked me when I wasn't looking. Maybe it's my ever-growing inferiority complex. But yesterday I think I got the hard evidence I was looking for. Here's the story:

I arrived at elCairo's International Airport at 2am and for the next 6+ hours, as I journyed via Budapest to the Frozen Wastelands, I would be listening to my uberPod's exquisite selection of songs. I have kept it on 'shuffle' for all those 6 hours and exactly 2 minutes before landing at the Frozen Wastelands Madona's 'Frozen' starts playing! I looked at its screen in disbelif thinking only one thing: touché.

Frozen Wastelands, Here I Come!

Yup, my days in sunny elCairo passed like a blink of an eye! I'm feeling lucky about my luggage this time. I feel it's going to arrive safely at the belt there. I guess we'll see! :)

Black Fesh 2.0

The return to the underground dungeon where the old creepy man lived was not easy. Fesh knew he needed the old man's services once more. Fesh reviewed what he'd say to the creepy old man word-by-word as he went down the stairs. The old man looked up, his face pleasantly surprised: So although they are no match for you, you still come to me? Fesh quickly sat down and recited the answer he has been practicing all the way: I haven't come here to ask you for a spell to win. I have come to ask you for a spell to humiliate them, they need to lose so bad they'll regret sharing a border with us for the rest of their lives! ....Fesh hesitated for a second and added: I'm talking of a 5 goal difference win. Can you help me?

The old man nodded and got to work mixing a red liquid with a black one in a pot over the the fire. Fesh not sure if he should leave now or not hesitated and quietly stood up. The old man quickly looked in his direction and barked: BEGONE! As Fesh stumbled across the room he saw, with the corner of his eye, the old man pulling something out of a jar labeled: Green Monkey Testicles and throwing it in the mix.

Fesh breathed deeply as he stepped outside, trying to clear his lungs of the dungeon's stink. Looking up, he could see the creepy old man's chimney and above it hung an eerie smoke figure:
Fesh smiled, assured that They are under the old man's spell now.

Can't Help it...

Me: is it too soon to take a shot at this Frozen Wastelandese military aircraft that crashed after the officers on board just completed a conference on flight safety?

ViH: you're a sick sick freak... people died!

Me: I know, I know.. I'm sorry, maybe in a couple of month? Like a joke with the 'flight safety conference' bit as the punch-line?

ViH: you disgust me.

Me: okay, OKAY... fine.. I'll shut up.

Black Fesh

The creepy old man removed a drowsy bat from a jar and slit its throat; its highly viscous greenish blood oozed out on the table. Fesh flinched at the disgusting sight and didn't notice as the old man threw in some red dried-up rat eyes and some golden scorpion legs. The mix, now stirred by the old man, strangely looked like this:
The old man looked up and whispered in a frail voice: Fear not, they are under my spell. Fesh hesitated as he drew out a small sack from his pocket and asked: Are you...uhm..sure? The old man banged his hand on the table with one quick move that seemed to be at odds with his worn-out looks and yield: DON'T EVER QUESTION ME! Almost falling over from his chair, Fesh quickly got on his feet and handed the old man the sack. As Fesh left the underground dungeon he had a grin on his face, quickly looking at his watch he knew it was only 30 mins away.

My uberPod

I have always been loyal to the Party. I joined the Party back in the golden years. Ah, the year was 1995 and we have just introduced a new way of working with computers. Clearly, the future was ours. Some thought we were becoming more evil, but we believed we're doing what's best for everyone. There were setbacks along the way, some have succumbed to the Open Source Revolution ...disgusting failures. Yet we prevailed.

The biggest threat came form the capitalist fruits. We watched them enviously as they built their empire on the other side of The Wall that came to divide the cyberworld. We could see them swaying the hearts of millions. And then it happened, they introduced the miracle machine that could actually run their operating system along with ours! Then it was clear that the end was insight. I knew that if there was any chance of defecting, it was now....

[1 year later]

... it's so beautiful. The elven script on it's shinny back glows in elCairo's sun and reads:

Fesh pets his uberpod:
my preccccccciiioooooouuuussssssssssssssssss

It's true, I have been lured to the Dark Side and now I'm one of them fruits. I am now one of the millions of zombies that roam the earth every day in their own little bubbles. I am a slave to The White Earbud. I am a proud owner of an uberPod.

The Stupidity of The Masses

Facebook usually exposes to me how stupid the average Facebookian is. Few months back I stumbled across the Mars Hoax and recently I came across a new phenomena. Groups and applications surfaced asking people to sign-up so that they could finally put the Six Degree Separation hypothesis to the test. You've probably heard about it, the hypothesis claims that people are connected via an average of six links. Links being friends or acquaintances. Around 12 million people signed up on Facebook to try and help the 'research' to prove this hypothesis.

Maybe it's just me but if I were to wake up tomorrow and the headlines would read: Six Degree Separation A Proven Fact! First, I'd be amazed by how the glorious 21st century research has just proved beyond doubt that, on average, I could be linked to a random dude in Boston over six links. *gasp*. Let me take a second to absorb this shock.............. ok, much better now. Second, I'd ask myself, so? What is the real reapplication of this 'discovery'? For sure there will be need for it in a weird sociological research about an extinct aboriginal tribe, but apart from that, how would this 'fact' help those 12 million people who are actively trying to prove it?
It wouldn't.

In the meantime, real distributed computing projects like: http://folding.stanford.edu or http://setiathome.berkeley.edu are suffering from a much, much smaller user base (as small as 200,000 users in some cases). Those projects only ask for some spare CPU cycles from your PC when you are not using it in exchange for trying to understand and solve real-world problems. These efforts have tangible results that will help make life better for all of us, yet the stupidity of the masses prevails.

2008 Resolutions

After my initial draft, did some thinking and adjusted my final resolutions for 2008:

1. I'll pursue to completion one personal goal in life.
2. I'll read more, especially in new topics/areas.
3. I'll continue going to the gym to lose 10KG.
4. I'll be a better son.
5. I'll start conserving water and electricity where/when possible.
6. I'll continue to travel, visit 3 new countries.
7. I'll do one thing about my interest in Stand-Up.

Recovering...

Dangerously high al-ke-hole levels are subsiding...
I'm recovering quite nicely, weather is a fantabulous 19C...
Must go out tonight...


P.S: Frozen Wasteland @ -14C ....hehehehe... the suckers...