Decaffeinated Fesh

It's official I'm off the good stuff for over 3 months now. It's not that I don't drink coffee at all now, off course I enjoy the occasional cup of coffee with a friend. The achievement however, in my humble point of view, is that I cut down my coffee intake from 4-5 cups a day, to 1-2 weekly. Letting go was not easy, I mean Coffee has been an integral part of my University years, when bumming the lab and working of THE ULTIMATE NEMESIS required massive amounts of coffee. And then came work, I must say coffee at work is essential for 5 main reasons:

1. When you come in the morning, you know your corporate laptop will need at least 20 mins to start up, right? Yeah we all know that Big Brother from Computer & Communication department has loaded our laptops with too much spying software. So a morning coffee is not an option, it's needed.
2. Coffee break is the venue for the office gossip: who will get promoted or fired in the upcoming weeks IF NOT DAYS!
3. If you want to catch someone on a short notice (and as usual everyone is busy), there's a 50% chance that proposing to "talk this over coffee?" will work. Sure beats sending a meeting invite that the recipient will not even entertain with a decline.
4. Simply to have "your thing" with your other non-smoking (read: loser) office buddies. YES smokers you heard us, you go outdoors and enjoy your smoke break, damn it we enjoy our coffee breaks too!
5. Finally... *ahm*.....BECAUSE IT TASTES NIIIIIICE AND THE SMELL OH MY GOD WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF... I JUST NEED ONE LAST CUP AND I PROMISE I WI....

*Two guys from the rehabilitation institution come out and restrain the raging Fesh, injecting him with the decaffeination serum to tranquilize him........