Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Blasphemous Post

I wonder if God is kool. All religions do a good job painting a picture of God as almighty and all-knowing. But is he kool? Because you see, if he is kool, he'd be kool in a Godly way. That is: Kool.

Probably the best way to check for God's koolness would be, unfortunately, after you die. After God has gone through your short list of good deeds, he'll start reading the other, longer one. How he reacts to this list will be a dead (huh? huh? see it's funny becuase you are dead... get it? *nudge *nudge) giveaway. If he's like: well, you didn't kill anyone, didn't rob a bank and never intentionally hurt anyone so you're alright (maybe gives you fist bump? oh sorry, a Godly fist bump). Then he's kool. If he'll bring up that time in 3rd grade when you had an extra cookie that technically "was not yours", he's not.

I have a feeling that God is kool. Of course if he is kool, he would also have an interesting sense of humor. I imagine that after he lets me into Heaven he'll add: Wait. Do you see this uber hot chikita over there? The one next to the pyramid of free donuts? Yes, I reply. You can not touch either, he adds.

Three minutes later I would be roasting in Hell's eternal fire thinking: That was totally worth it.

Note: This post was brought to you in collaboration with Munqy, who has also not been posting for a while since Jade promised us a revealing video if we did post on the same day. You can find proof here. Jade, now you have to do good on your promise.

10 comments:

Jade said...

Interesting post Feshy.
Yeah I think God is fucking kool & has one hell of a sense of humour... I mean, am not sure about you - but if I step out of the picture & look at my life as an outsider or as if it were a movie I see all the irony of Him being one hell of a Master Mind with a really kool plan... as it slowly unravels I realize He is probably sitting up there on His Mighty Throne & saying "Ah... let's place this character here, put this incident there & Voila! Aaaaw - look at her now" followed by an Incredible EFPoC(tm) moment.

As for the video - I guess your Munqy sold you out baby... I dont see nothing new at his end & that just calls the whole deal off.

Sorry Cookie! Would have Loooooved to oblige...
xxx
J

Feshfesh said...

hehehehehe... that would be uber kool if God too has *EFPoC(tm) moments too! :)

AND DAMN YOU MUNQY! Doesn't matter Jade, I'm sure we'll have another chance to get this video off you. At least I like to believe so.

*sniff*

Jade said...

Dude! How did you not think of it...
I can totally see it - When God has an *EFPoC(tm) moment a Tsunami happens!

As for the video...
We'll see when the next time around comes & I am in the mood to offer the same thing.

Tough luck handsome!
Cheers,
J

madwomaninatic said...

hey, i can testify to the fact that God is totally cool. i mean, consider someone like me, i'm not the most conventionally religious person, but hey, God's been totally cool with me all my life, and i totally believe God gives us points for coolness... You know, if you do a sin in style, and you're cool when you do it, then he doesn't punish you as much for it. Or so I hope...

now, i hope all you uncool fundies out there don't give me shit for this!

Feshfesh said...

I'd totally agree with that. Come to think of it God has been trying to come off kool all this time. I mean, come on, did he really need to part the sea for the Moses and his people? You'd think he'd guide them to cross into Sinai from the land bridge that used to exist before the Suez canal, but that wouldn't have made for a kool story like parting the seas.

OH. It all makes sense now.

madwomaninatic said...

i can also cite hundreds of examples of God's cool, ironic, and almost nasty sense of humor. everyone's had a taste of that at some point.

DailyAntics said...

you been tagged http://bikyaa.blogspot.com/2008/10/on-feeling-thankful.html

Feshfesh said...

ugh, gay tag.

>I like<

madwomaninatic said...

that short comment reveals a lot about you....

Feshfesh said...

*Fesh whistles innocently.