Sunday, July 15, 2007

The BEF's Secret Wish

We BEF brothers spend a great deal of our time in airports and specifically in security lines, last time I was in Frankfurt I had to:
1. Pass my check-in luggage thru an x-ray machine before I even got my boarding pass.
2. Pass a security point where my cabin baggage was x-rayed, my laptop sniffed and turned on.
3. Pass yet another security point on my way to the gate. This check-point didn't have a metal detector so the security guard had to ask each and every passenger to spread their hands and legs and he scanned them with a mobile metal detector.

I have to go thru this every time I am traveling, so technically I invest around 4-5 hours a month, each month in security lines. I do this gracefully and I never ask for anything in return. Yet deep inside me, and deep inside every Brother we all wish for this one time, just one time...

It's a crowded European Airport, crowded security line, it's raining outside. Appears like there is some disturbance at the front of the line, one passenger is refusing to take off his shoes. There is some yelling, can't make out what they are saying, suddenly the passenger hits the security guard with his carry-on bag and dashes to the nearest emergency exit. All at once the hall is flooded by security guards who are running after the alleged "shoe-bomb" terrorist, they are yelling something, seems they are giving him a waring ...*BANG* *BANG* the pursuit is over.

We BEF Brothers carry this dark and terrible wish within us every time we fly. Wishing that one day, all the time we invested in the security of the planes we fly in will pay out. The feeling that maybe today is the day this scenario unfolds keeps us going from Plane to Gate to Plane....everyday.


me said...

Didn't get it!!!
Do you want to be the guy getting shot? I don't think so..
Do you want see someone get shot?
Still I don't think so..

Well, Maybe, I guess you DO want to see someone get shot, as in there was actually SOME reason for all the security procedures after many many many many trips...!?

Oh, but that means that he could have got in.. And instead of only that person getting killed, you could get many people killed... How can you jeopardize the lives of all those people. And the plane, would you like to have been a plane (in some other life) and get someone to blow you up..

Man you're evil... EVIL..


Feshfesh said...

I donno, when I have regular out of body experiences, I don't see myself as evil....rather alarmingly twisted....but hey tomato, tomato.

Mohamed said...

Actually my secret wish, as a BEFer, is to get the guy who is 'randomly' checking my back with his silly explosive-finding powder (don't ask..) to make a huge mistake that will allow me to
a) yell at him
b) get him fired
c) sue the airport/the customs authority for so much money I can buy my own private jet so i won't have to wait in security lines again.

(do you have to wait in line even when you're boarding your own plane? Oh crap.)

Here's a question for you, though: are you my long lost twin? The profile photos seem to suggest so..

Feshfesh said...

You can sue the security dude if he... you know... touches you? The bastards! and I thought it's a standard procedure!

Dude this is eerie, too much in common (male, Cancerian, Simpsons-fan, fellow BEFer, Godfather)…. We’re officially twins, can I be the evil one though?

Munqy said...

So I'm guessing you two will be going to the Simpsons movie this month in, you know, an official capacity?

Feshfesh said...

Dude, I even have my very own Simpsons "Two Beer Or Not Two Beer" tee that I'll wear to the Premier... *ahm* and I'll be taking my Homer doll with me too.

ShadShad said...

you should thank me for that

Feshfesh said...

Dude, it's gay enough that I'm taking a Homer doll to the premier. Now I have to make it public that a dude (you) got me a tee... not helping man.

But yeah, thanks dude :D