Saturday, May 31, 2008

Let the Anal Probing Begin!

I'm sure you've heard about this. A hunter-gatherer tribe discovered that has had no contact with the outside world! Technically speaking the majority of the world was at this (and I'll use the wrong word here, for lack of a more expressive one) "evolutionary" stage before the rise of agriculture. We're talking pre-6th century BC! I'm sure anthropologists worldwide are organizing bitchin' parties now to celebrate this find, though the article says that NGOs are trying to keep those tribes uncontactable. I can understand that. Bringing them suddenly in contact with the world can threaten their way of life.

But how about if we ease them into a 'contact' with us? For example:
1. We get the best and brightest of Hollywood directors to stage a UFO landing near the tribe's camp. A silver spaceship lands at nigh and three humans descend from it claiming that they come in peace ....from the future!
2. We then experiment on how could two very different civilizations can communicate? Should we use pictures? exchange tools? music?
3. We analy probe some of them. I'm not sure why, but since aliens keep doing it to our abductees, then I'm sure it's the 'hip' thing to do now when it comes to making contact and all.
4. We offer to take their leader to our World Headquarters on the Moon. Then we release him (with his bow and arrow) in the middle of Manhattan. I'm sure that would be a killer reality show that one of the major networks would totally sponsor.
5. Finally, we destroy their camp with big laser guns! No, no... of course I'm kidding. We keep that for Iraq.


Jade said...

Fucking Brilliant babe!

Feshfesh said...

Thank you, thank you. Anything for a noble cause (i.e. anal probing).

Munqy said...

I love how they were aiming bows and arrows at the aircraft.

Feshfesh said...

Yeah, right?! It's like in Alien movies you have all of those fighter jets shooting missiles and all at the mothership and it has zero impact :D