I don’t like having dinners here in the US, I believe there's a personality clash between me and your typical USofA waiter. If you are a waiter, pls go thru this 5-point rough guide to serving me:
1. I can barely remember the names of my friends, so pls dont waste my precious brain space with your name.
2. If I don't like my food I'll bitch about it, If I'm not bitching then I am enjoying.
3. Don’t interrupting me while I'm enjoying my meal, to ask "Is everything alright".
4. IF you absolutely have to interrupt then understand that the number of interruptions is inversely proportional to the % of tip I'm gonna leave you.
5. When I say "Thank you", I expect "you’re welcome" and not "you’re verry welcome". I just gave you my empty plate, let's be honest here.