Friday, August 21, 2009

"Social" Birthday Wishes

Calling people up on their birthday is so yesterday, get with the program granpa. Now we have Facebook, which neatly reminds you that today is your best friend's girlfriend's sister's hot friend's birthday. So you race to her Facebook wall to pay your tribute. Off course when you get there you find a billion birthday wishes already there. So you quickly scan them trying to see if you can offer something original. Usually, you'd lose interest quickly and just spew your cliche: Happy Birthday! Maybe add a few more exclamation marks if she is really hot.

But why stop there? I can see Facebook's next feature: Automatic Bday Wishes. It's very simple, while adding a friend to your list, you add him/her to a birthday list. Each birthday list has a template message, those can be a simple: Happy Birthday [Friend's Name]! or a tad more evil, like: Why don't you go fuck yourself on this special day? Can you imagine the productivity gain out of this? Now you do not need to scroll or click or even think of which cliche bday wish you'll go with! Wouldn't that make your life a lot easier as a birthday wisher?

The downside, however, is that on your birthday you'll be flooded with a million of those cold, heartless auto bday wishes. Of course, you can't ignore them, we're not animals. Enter the even cooler new Facebook feature: Bday Wishes Auto-responder. This feature will be a bit more complex. First, it would change your status to reflect how humbled you are with the torrent of cold, heartless auto bday wishes you got. Next, this feature will relentlessly pursue every shmuck who dared to send you an auto bday wish and spam them with wall posts and private messages "thanking" them. The degree of persecution of your targets will be adjustable from your account settings, but don't worry, even at its lowest level this feature will annoy the crap out of those who thought it would be wise to drop you an auto bday wish.

Now that is social networking I like.

P.S: The farewell party last week was legend--wait for it--ary.


Ice Queer said...

Lol I always found wishing happy bd to friends via fb is so impersonal and heartless especially when ppl do the wishes 2 days prior to ur bd!
Here is a trick, change ur bd on fb to slightly different date so that u can know who really remembered ur bd =P

Loved the post! =D

Feshfesh said...

To me, it's not remembering the date that matters. On average you'd have 100-150 friends/contacts, I, for one, only remember the bdays of my family. But it's how 'routine' this has become.

Munqy said...

Dude, a) it would be people like you giving over control to machines who will lead to the demise of humanity and b) CHUG CHUG CHUG!

BaTaBeeT said...

I totally agree with you
and I totally agree with Ice Queer...
I think about removing my B.D from F.B to see if people do remember my birthday though its an easy one :D

glad that ur party was AWESOME ;)

Happy Ramadan

Feshfesh said...

Hey man, why are you dissing the machines? What's wrong with a world when they--all hail our robotic overlords--do all the work and we, puny humans, get to chill in coffins filled with goo? AND HELL YEAH! GO! GO! GO!

Feshfesh said...

Batabeet, ou, ou, ou, let me guess 1/1? 31/12?

BaTaBeeT said...

hehehehe LOL Smart !!!
Nah its 2/1 (and if u tried to be funny and asked l sale7 meen I will kill you)

Feshfesh said...

Nice date to have your bday fe3lan, I shall add you to my auto bday wishers list :D

Plus, any avid tennis fan would know that when you say 2/1, it means that the score is 2/1 to your advantage.