Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Salam, Brother..

I despise trend-whores. You know the ones who'll jump on anything new and pick it up whether it suites them or not? In the two years I've spent here in the Frozen Wastelands I've noticed that as a percentage of the total population, the trend-whores are a very big chunk. Actually they are such a big group that there's a slang term to describe them. It's choco. Unfortunately, turns out it's not a derogatory term like I hoped, but rather meaning how hip and kwel you are. Ugh.

One of the more interesting trends that caught on here is wearing a keffiyeh (in Egyptian-Arabic it's more of a koffieyh, but I went with how WikiGod has spelled it). And not any keffiyeh, the trademark checkered one. It's interesting because in the last 40+ years the checkered keffiyeh was made famous by the late Palestinian leader Arafat and became a worldwide symbol of the Palestinian cause. More recently with the Intifadas the keffiyehs made their way to universities worldwide and came to represent a political statement: solidarity with the Palestinian cause. It's very sad to see such a powerful symbol turned into a kwel trend and none of the trend-whores prancing around wrapped in it understand its real meaning.

But on a more practical note, tell if I could pull this off. I let my beard go, put on my keffiyeh and my kaki pants and a black shirt. I also stuff my alarm clock (which has this big digital red display) into my backpack and put it on countdown mode. Then, I roam the streets here till I find one of them trend-whores, I approach him and speak in a very broken English, with a heavy Arabic accent:

Brother Fesh: Brother, Salam... I see you are one of us?
*point to his keffiyeh
Wastelander Brother: Przepraszam? (Frozen Wastelandees for 'Excuse me?')
*hold his keffiyeh and mine and explain
Brother Fesh: We, together...BOOM! BOOM! *throw my hands in the air..

If he still didn't pee his pants or run away, I'll open my backpack very slowly and give him a peek at the bold red digits slowly counting down.


Munqy said...

Dude, remember in Dahab when you were wearing the koffeiyah (I'll spell it the proper way here, and forgoe my WikiWhore links for the moment) and this German dude came up to you? From what we could understand of his rant, he kept going on about how it was a symbol of a terrorist (Arafat) and how dare we support him, and now it's a fashion statement. How the times change.

As for whether you could pull it off as a potential terrorist - definately. Could you tape it? We'll probably see the after effects (news headline: Police Brutality? Egyptian Prankster Beaten for Walking with "Bomb"), but the facial expression of the guy you pull it on must be saved for all time.

diptychal said...

this is only very thinly related to your post but I have a feeling you might appreciate it =)

Feshfesh said...

Munqy, oh yeah! I totally forgot that! exactly! That was an interesting situation wasn't it? Being condemned by a German dude, in your own country for wearing a traditional Arabic headdress? hmmm.. maybe we should have played the Holocaust card? :D

I am torn between being happy about your support and being worried that you are VERY sure that I can pull it off as a potential terrorist...hmmm...

Dipty, oh yeah I've seen this one... I'll try and look exactly like that dude when I pull it off :D

Jade said...

Dude! I love this plan! Let me in let me in!

I could play the monaqaba wife & I could bring like 10 of my cousins & we can all stand & cry next to you & around you! I can oltom & wallow - & when we approach the dude & hold his koffeya I will throw in a sad zaghrouta - then I'll go back to crying...

What do you say?

Feshfesh said...

"when we approach the dude.."

Have you gone crazy woman? You will approach no dude, you will walk 3 steps behind me at all times.

Setat akher zaman.

That Guy said...

hahaha niiiiiice!

I'm telling you right now, that if this happens I will not hesitate to ride the media wave following your arrest and\or public lynching.

I will be on CNN the next day being interviewed by Larry King like I've known u all my life...

"Yes Larry, we go way back, and I always knew he was weird. This one time, during an online greasy midget orgy, he mentioned how he wanted to blow up infidels..."

Feshfesh said...

Can I, at least, get a commission off the money you'll make from your book? The one you'll be plugging in on Larry King about the intimate details of your rouge relationship with the midget-lovin-wastelanders-hatin terrorist?

that guy said...

Well...assuming that you'll be either dead or in some frozen wasteland prison trying not to drop the wouldn't make sense.

but what I can say is that any money I make off my forthcoming book, ("How I Knew He Would Do It") I will use to
make sure i am always high and partying around the world with only the classiest of least one of us can be happy, and i'm sure you would have wanted it that way.

Oh, and in case you have any little fesh's anywhere around the world, i will take care of the little bastards as my own.

Feshfesh said...

Wait a second, I get a feeling I'm getting the rough end of the deal here. So I get to bunk with TOMEK in a tiny cell in a remote corner of the Frozen Wastelands while you partAy? and with the classiest prostitutes!! You'd be living my dream!

I demand a fairer deal, I'll let my lawyer call yours. Let me remind you that If I'm going down, I can always take you with me. Oh yeah, I have a video of that time with the Chihuahua.. in a weird way, we both 'did it'.

that guy said...