21st Century Colosseum

I was watching a documentary about the Colosseum on National Geographic today and the dude was explaining how it was originally designed for gladiatorial fights. Over the centuries it became a popular sport, until it was outlawed in the 4th century. Yeah, it's beyond me how it took them couple of centuries to figure out that maybe killing other humans is not a bright idea. The weird thing is that later today I saw this show ' Robotica' which basically have two teams design two competing robots and then fight them to death, you're seeing where I am going right? Do you think that this robotic gladiatorial fights will be outlawed in the future? Say 25th century?

I agree that initially it sounds like one of the many stupid ideas I blurp regularly BUT I am sure stopping fights in the Colosseum 17 centuries ago wasn't a popular idea too! And if you're thinking this doesn't apply because we can't compare humans being killed with robots, then how do you justify the current international pressure to stop the Spanish bullfighting for example?

Think about it, it's the 25th century, cyborgs roam the earth serving us in every possible aspect. They have become an integral part of our civilization. Will bot fighting be outlawed? I would argue that it would, because as our civilization progresses we develop more compassion towards others, be it man, animal or cyborg.

it begins...

So I survived the last winter in the Northward Frozen Wastelands, worst I've witnessed was -16C and I must say it wasn't that bad. Few weeks ago a friend tells me that last winter (yes the one with the -16C) was on of the warmest winters in last 200 years. So statistically, this winter is bound to be worse than last one, now that's a spirit booster? ughhhh... BRING IT ON BIATCH!!!!

*You have to imagine me as this crazy Vietnam War solider who lost his legs (and mind) in Forest Gump and he was battling with the storm on the shrimp fishing boat.

My 'Professional' Nickname

I don't think I am a pleasant person to work with. I'm a perfectionist who does not tolerate failure. You know all those motivational quotes and management styles that explain how you learn from your mistakes? yeah, I don't buy this bullshit. Mistakes ARE mistakes, you shouldn't do them. Comprende?

I try to mange this sadistic-side of my personality as much as possible, but the moment I start to see someone slacking off, it's showtime. A few weeks back, I locked on such a target. It was one of the vendors I work with, my ' global vendor'. They were slacking off and the service they were offering me was becoming worse by the day. So it began, I invested so much energy in tracking everything to the utter most detail. I then kicked-off the shock and awe campaign, where I waged war on all fronts, picking up all the issues and scrutinizing them. It didn't take long until the weakest links broke. Two engineers broke under my pressure and basically did some seriously wrong actions. Two managers then followed suite in two fully documented cases. My work was almost complete, I had to go for the knock-out. All of this was escalated in a cunningly evil communication plan, that targeted all the major decision makers. It was so beautiful. Major restructures are now happening, major interventions, people changing jobs ...etc.

I'm not a bad guy, I just don't tolerate failure. But if someone needs to be the bad guy to expose a certain failure, I'd gladly do it. Sources inside my 'global vendor' tell me that they gave me an internal nickname, it's: The Bloodhound.

I think I like it.

*EFPoC(tm) Moments

*EFPoC(tm) moments are all around us. We live thru them everyday, you just don't realize it. Think about the moments when you felt the whole world is conspiring to help your cunningly evil plan. This is usually when you imagine yourself laughing a hysteric, diabolic, loud laugh, in your secluded castle, thunder in the background and all. Off course, if you have your own secluded castle already where you regularly do that, then WOW, you're beyond help! But for the rest of us, who only imagine this, *EFPoC(tm) is the way to go. For fellow Simpsonians out there, simply said this is a classic Mr. Burns ' Exxxxxxxxcellent' moment. See life is a lot easier if you relate it to Simpsons, after all, whatever it is, the Simspons already did it.

So, here's two of my favorite *EFPoC(tm) moments:

• Boyfriend of Hot-girl-who-works-with-you-and-you-have-a-massive-crush-on dumps her. Now the coast is clear for you, she's weak and vulnerable. *EFPoC(tm).
  
• Your potential customers, whom you have been begging for the last year to consider using your service of a secure hosting facility for their sensitive data, just got hacked. Now they'll come crawling to you. *EFPoC(tm).

*EFPoC(tm) off course being: Evil Finger Pyramid of Contemplation. The (tm) is for FeshFesh Inc.

So tell me, what are your *EFPoC(tm) moments?

Feshtoid # 7982

How many mails does a healthy male African Fesh send at work per month?

A. Between 50 and 300
B. Between 301 and 700
C. More than 701

Bounce Fesh, Bounce Bounce

It's easy to taunt me, I mean with my nerdiness, pervyiness or my unfantabulous physique it shouldn't be a problem. But that on the side, my dancing skelz have been (and still are) an easy topic for taunting me. It's either that I'm THAT bad or simply my dancing is so ultimate, so uber that basically folks are intimated by it and they choose to mock or else it will control them. I like to think it's the latter, helps me sleep at night.

I don't think my dancing routine fits with any of the universally accepted definitions of dancing. I do little movements, keep my hands in my pockets and I occasionally nod while I sip my Żubrówka with apple. But don't get me wrong, I'm not that boring. Given the right level (read: 1.5 gallons) of alcohol in my blood and just the right hip-hop song and BAM! The Fesh bounces. During the few times I've been sighted bouncing, I couldn't help but wonder how I would look to the casual onlooker? With all the bad bouncing, the awkward moves, the jittery-hand movements and not to mention my massive behind; I must look like a cheep ho bouncing in a cheap New York club on New Year's Eve, 1999. Don't ask how I know this.

С Днем Рождения Спутник

*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*

'Published' Fesh

As of today, I am a 'published' author.

*cheers* *cheers*

Thank you, thank you. I must say I couldn't have done it without your support. After the two successful rounds (Famous Fesh and Famous Fesh - Phase II) of trying to name my column to-be, we agreed that the column should be called: The Fesh Factor.

Today I came out from a meeting to find the uber newsletter sitting on my desk, I eagerly picked it up and searched all of it's pages, all 5 of them, and there it was:

The Fesh Factor: Homo Corparatus

You could literally see the angelic golden glow around the newsletter and clearly hear in the background: 'haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalelouya'. My first column was actually an 'edited' version of two of my posts (Behold, a New Species and Pyramids & Quadrants). Yeah they removed all the juicy parts :S But still I'm happy man, Now I'm a published author.

Next Stop: Nobel Prize.

Interesting Reflexes

Yesterday I almost hit a car, and no I wasn't driving. You're wondering how a pedestrian can hit a car? simple the pedestrian just needs to be equally absent minded. I was crossing the street and after the car passed me slowly, I started to cross and I hit the tires with my shoe. It didn't hurt or anything, but I involuntarily pulled my leg back, which got me thinking about the interesting topic of Reflexes. You know, hitting your knee with a hammer gets your leg to move forward? What? it is interesting?!

So I wikied for reflexes and kept on reading and then I came across an intriguing piece of info, some human reflexes are only available in infants! As we grow up we 'lose' those reflexes. The grasp reflex in infants mean they usually grasp with very strong grip to anything put in their hands. The hand-to-mouth reflex however means infants tend to place anything in their hand in their mouth. This got me thinking about the immense practical-joke possibilities if those reflexes stuck around until we're annoying 8-year olds. For example:

Grasp reflex:
1.Place massive roach in dude's hand...and CRACK!
2.Place sleeping dude's hand around his balls...and OUTCH! (nice, han?)

Hand-to-mouth reflex:
1.Place slimy disgusting worm in dude's hand. (do you think it would taste like spaghetti?)
2.Place piece of poo in dude's hand. (mmmmmm....pooo)

Oh and don't get me started on the sucking reflex... too many mental images.

The Touchy-Feely Bill

I'm a very untouchy, unfeely person. Call me cold or emotionally crippled as you wish I don't care. Back in Egypt it's very common for guys to hug and/or kiss for hello. Not to mention that some folks in Egypt apply the European etiquette and guys kiss girls for hello or goodbye. And what's with all the hand shaking going around? I really don't get it, why do we have to be so touchy-feely? I can easily acknowledge seeing someone with a nice 'Good Morning, how is everything?', a nod and a smile while I am 0.5 meters from that person! I always hate it when one of them touchy-feely folks arrive and he has to touch all 15 people sitting around the table, that's just wrong.

Sometime I think about the Touchy-Feely bill, which will be the first piece of legislation that I'll pass during my first week in office. It will mandate the following:
1. Handshaking shall be restricted to formal and business introductions.
2. Kissing for hellos and goodbyes is completely banned, The exception will be family, where moderation will be required.
3. Hugging will only be allowed in case you have not met the other person for a period greater than or equal to 3 months.
4. All lame touchy-feely "coaching" moves like patting on the back, shoulder or arm shall be considered sexual harassment in the workplace and are banned effective today.
5. All forms of touchy-feelyness between guys will be banned, touchy-feelyness however will be encouraged between hot chikitas. Ideally with some Chocolate Syrup involved ...*ahm*... can we strike that last part from the text of the bill?

ahh... the world would be a better place when I become 'Big Brother'

A Good Conspiracy, Anyone?

I am a conspiracy theory buff. I appreciate good ones and I despise the half-breeds who believe really stupid conspiracies. The stupidest conspiracy theory of all time is the one that claims that the Moon landing was faked. This theory is SO stupid I'm always tempted to punch those half-breeds in the face whenever I see one of those weirdos.... GRRRRRRRRR!
*breath-in*....*breath-out*........ much better.

Let me take a step-back and explain, conspiracy theories are a result of missing pieces of info right? Think for example the Kennedy assassination and the deal with the 'Magic Bullet'. Now that's a good conspiracy theory because there so much missing information. While with the Moon landing, the fools forgot that this was a scientific mission with the sole objective of collecting information?! The amount of information, pictures, rocks, soil samples and even parts of former unmanned space probes that were brought back is immense! And all of that 'evidence' was not sealed in the CIA's basement, it was shared with the WHOLE international body of scientists from everywhere in the world (Europe, Japan, Russia...etc)!

My silver bullet for those half-breeds who believe this crappy theory is the fact that there exists a world-wide network of observatories that measure the position of the Moon (up to millimeters of precision) via deflecting light off retro-reflectors that were place on the Moon by the Apollo missions....ah...which have been used by the WHOLE world to measure the position of the Moon for the last THIRTY-FIVE years?! Again, this data was about the position of the Moon was not 'published' by NASA, this data was and is used by all countries in the world in a very similar way like we use GPS now?! It actually uses the same 'concept' as GPS. But you don't see anyone claiming that GPS was faked right? Stupid half-breeds.

The ultimate conspiracy theory for me is the whole 'Da Vinci Code' plot, that I like. Any favorite theories?

The Alchemist

I just finished reading the book, yes, I know, I'm ancient. I found it to be a very inspiring read and after reading The Lord of the Rings for the last 6 months, I found it conveniently short too. Interestingly, I loved the introduction and the 'topics for discussion' at the end of the book more than the book itself. Being an ultimate nerd, I love discussing books and since I'm not in any of the kool book clubs (they keep rejecting my application), I decided to discuss a very interesting discussion topic here. Here goes:

4. When he talked about the pilgrimage to Mecca, the crystal merchant argued that having a dream is more important than fulfilling it, which is what Santiago was trying to do. Do you agree with Santiago's rationale or the crystal merchant's?

The book wants you to walk away with 'Santiago's rational' as the answer. I would love to say that too but isn't what the crystal merchant doing what the majority of us do? Have a 'dream' to live for? Who from us doesn't have his/her 'Mecca'? But I would argue that very few of us are the ones who are actually working against this and trying to find their 'treasure'. The book actually reinforces that fulfilling your dream and realizing your Personal Legend is no easy task. I guess my point is: Isn't Santiago's rationale too 'ideal'? Can we live in a world were everyone has either realized their Personal Legend or are working against it? Too Utopian? And if you agree that it is too Utopian, wouldn't the crystal merchant's rational totally make sense?

Famous Fesh - Phase II

In my last post I had only 7 proposed titles and ended up with 36 thanks to you. So I decided to get technical about my selection technique. As your typical Corporate Slut would do, I opened my beloved XL and copied all 36 in, then I started to populate the columns. I had a couple of columns:
Kudoses: How many readers have blessed this proposed title
Length: What’s the length of the title in letters. Later I got the average. 14.5 letters.
Catchy: A binary column either 1 i.e. Catchy, else 0.
Feshy: Another binary column where 1 indicate an uberly Feshy title.
Short: if less than or equal the average 1, else 0.
JSoA: Jade’s Stamp of Approval, if approved by Jade then 1 else 0.
I then assigned a weight to each of the 4 binary columns in the following fashion: Catchy: 20%, Feshy: 50%, Short: 20%, JSoA: 10% which resulted in the weighted average column ranging from 0 to 1. I then multiplied this column with the number of Kudoses awarded for each title and got the final scores as follows:


Now, you can:
A. Pity me for doing all this just to select a title.
B. Close the window now and NEVER read my blog again.
C. Pity me and then choose to vote for your favorite from 1-16.

What’s it going to be?

Famous Fesh

Last week I took the first step towards my glamorous career to-be as a world renowned writer..... you can laugh at me now, but you'll come begging for my friendship later. So we have at work a newsletter that is published quarterly, it's a decent publication and with around 200+ folks at the office it has a good readers base. I shared with the editor one of the posts I had here on my blog and I proposed I edit it out and offer him an article for every issue. He like the idea and offered me my very own column!

As a result I have been struggling over the last few days with the title of my column. Here's what I am considering about the title:

• Needs to be catchy
• Needs to have 'Fesh' in it. (yes my narcissistic instincts, sue me).
• Needs to be short.

So far I've but together a list:

• FeshFeshiyat
• FeshFeshy
• Chronicles of the Fesh
• Ramblings of the Fesh
• Fesh's Corner
• SIMPL Fesh (read it as 'simple Fesh' but the first part is a business inside joke)
• Fesh: Business Transformed. (again a business inside joke)

What do you think? Like any of them? All crap? Can you suggest?

Pyramids & Quadrants

Like all animals, we, Homo Corpratuses (Man The Corporate Offices Dweller) have our tools. We chose the Pyramids & Quadrants. We became so proficient in using them that no single meeting, presentation, document or training can be a proper one without the right mix of pyramids & quadrants. Take pyramids for example, they can represent any of the following: a 3-pillared strategy, a 3-pillared strategy with one objective (that's put inside), 3-pillared strategy with 3 goals (each put on the side) or my all-time favorite: the n-layer pyramid-pie; where n>=2. The n-layer pyramid-pie is usually used to spell out the priorities rising from the least (at the base) to the most important (at the top).

What we've done with pyramids is nothing compared to our systematic abuse of the quadrants. You name it: Time Management, Energy Management, Priority Management and even Vendor Management, they all have 4 quadrants. We use quadrants so much that quadrant-reading has become a natural instinct for us. Now we instinctively seek the One quadrant of them all. The One quadrant that rules them all. The Holy Upper Right Quadrant.

Drinking, As a Way of Life

I believe there are things in life that are really undervalued. Take drinking for example, most people would think it's just a social activity. Some would even claim it's unhealthy!*cough*blasphemy*cough*. But if you look at it this way:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." - Cliff (Cheers)

This is so right, on so many levels that I can die peacefully now. Thanks Sensei Munqy for showing me the light. I am, again, forever indebted.

Could I Live Here?

Today I found an Internationale Herlad Tribune (dated 31st May 2007) folded and tucked under my couch! I was surprised to find it there, usually I pick an IHT on the plane and leave it there. As I opened it I remembered why I kept it. On page 5, Verlyn Klinkenborg wrote an article titled: Driving across America where he raised one very intriguing thought. He mentioned that as he drove into a new town, he found himself wondering: could I live here?

Two years ago when I was touring Europe, I remember stopping in a deserted street in Pisa, Italy and pointing to a 3rd floor balcony and saying to aku: I could live here, hell I even have a picture to prove it! Klinkenborg goes on to explain that what he is actually asking is not whether he could live here or not, but rather: who would I be if I did live here? although I never asked myself this question, I always thought how my life could look like, if I lived here. What would be my job? hobbies? how would my family look like?... this is very interesting. I always dismissed those thoughts as childish imagination, now finally I discover that other people do it too! I think I'll hang on to the newspaper for a little bit more :)

Sliding Feshs

Have you noticed how we are always trying to catch up with something? Be it just waking up a bit late and trying to catch up with your morning routine: shower, breakfast, news ...etc. Or maybe during work when one call runs over another one. And off course, the dreaded run across Frankfurt's terminal to catch your connection, classic. The thing I don't understand is how this became hardwired into our brains. Just yesterday I left work at 7pm and as I was on the escalator going down to the Underground I heard the sound of the train approaching. At that sound a couple of folks behind me on the escalator started running down to make sure they catch the train.

Now take a step back, this definitely makes sense if were 8am and some of those folks don't want to be late for work. But it was 7pm and from the looks of those folks they all looked to me like respectable fellow corporate slaves who just got off work. I can understand that they want to make sure to spend more time with their family, but considering that the next train comes in 2 mins, do you really need to run and catch it, after some 11 hours of good old corporate whoopeshing?

Maybe it's just me, but you know what every now and then when I'm returning home, I 'miss' a train. It's my way of rewarding myself for all the other catching up I need to do everywhere else. What's the worse that could happen?

Smelly Fesh

So I have no hot water in my apartment since yesterday. Yeah, a pipe in the building broke and they are fixing it. It will take 2-3 more days to get fixed. If you see me and I smell funky you have been warned.

Oh, and this had to happen when it's already getting colder, so I'm already longing for a warm shower. Anywho, since I skipped shower today in the morning, I have to shower now. Cold water it is then, talk about ultra shrinkage :S

Shower Gel & Condoms

For years advertisers used sex appeal to grab our attention to the advertisement. Today I witnessed the next level, using sex appeal to make you buy their products. Today, I was buying a shower gel and I see an Adidas shower gel bottle, sleek and fully black, written on it:

TEAM FORCE

[Stimulating]

With Magnesium..

Needless to say, I bought it. Later on, I wondered if there is anything stimulating about a shower gel? Not to mention that instead of writing something like 'With Vitamin B5' they went with a more manly, heavy metal and probably poisonous metal like Magnesium. So yeah the big evil corporations finally broke into the complex male psyche, the golden rule is: Make the product you are selling sound like a lubricated condom.

...I guess it works.

The Bar Dilemma

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine explained to me the Twelve Step program developed by Alcoholic Anonymous to help people get ride of their addictive habits. A key concept, he explained, is that the addiction is more powerful than you are and you have to admit this and basically try hard not to 'tempt or test yourself' when it comes to this addiction. This is very powerful, it's simply against everything else that you like to believe! Take smokers for example, most of them like to believe they can quite whenever they want, this program argues that they can't under their own will because they are weaker than the addiction.

This all came back to me today as I was brainstorming with a team on the preparation for a corporate training we are running. The corporate training aims at introducing some healthy habits in your daily routine like exercising regularly, drinking more water and drinking less or no alcohol. We were discussing the dinner and suddenly one person wondered: Does it make sense that we have an open bar, while we are trying to get people to drink less alcohol? Half the team agreed, while the other half argued that we are 'mature' enough to choose whether to drink or not.

If I had this discussion a month ago, I would have fully supported the 'mature'-side of the discussion, but if you apply this concept of not tempting or testing yourself, then we probably shouldn't have a bar, right? I know it's not an apples to apples comparison seeing that the folks we are running the training for are not alcoholics, but still as a principle, do you think we should:
A. Have the bar (since we're mature and therefore should have the choice)
B. Not have the bar (since we are weaker than our addiction and should not test or tempt ourselves).

The Mars Hoax

I must say I was evilly amused when I started seeing folks on Facebook signing up to all those 'events' that were created to witness the 'once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity' that's going to happen on the 27th of August. The so-called Mars Hoax which started circulating the Internet 4 years ago, about a close encounter between Mars and the Earth. This year it made its way as multiple Facebook events, instead of the usual email forward. Although the close encounter, back in 2003, is true, the hoax exaggerates the encounter by saying that Mars will be as big as the Moon in the sky on the 27th of August. Clearly BS.

What really amused me is the amount of people who are 'attending' these events. One event had around 15,000 attendees! It's amusing right? It's so much easier to accept an invitation and trust the random dude who sent it to you, instead of spending 2 seconds to Google it. After all, this dude is, for sure, more credible then NASA:
http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2007/21aug_hurtlingtomars.htm

The idiocy of the Facebookians amuses me.

*You have to imagine me sitting on a big leather chair, looking at little Facebookians running around clueless like hamsters in a small glass box. I should look like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.*

I Want To Believe

I wasn't abducted before, but I firmly believe that alien life forms exist. Why? Well on Earth we have life forms (e.g. bacteria) living in very hostile conditions like under kilometers of sea water or high-up on mount Everest. This, along with the fact that everyday we discover a couple of more "Earth-like" planets half the way across the universe is an enough proof for me that statistically it's very probable that somewhere on the other side of the universe there are some bacteria living in a water pond, maybe even as close as Europa!

The part with little green men in silver jumpsuits landing in secret is the one I hate. Let's be honest to ourselves, if aliens ever find us first there are only two likely outcomes: A. We build a very successful interplanetary economic relationship. B. They eliminate us. Let's take a simpler example, during the last couple of thousands of years we had very different civilizations on Earth come in contact with each other and the outcome was always one of the two above. China, Greece and Egypt have enjoyed periods of flourishing economic cooperation. While the Spanish empire managed to wipe out most several civilizations in it's conquest to colonize the New World. History doesn't tell us of "sightings" of Greeks in fancy white robes riding a circular horse-drawn wagon who regularly abducted Chinese people in the 3rd century B.C. and anally probing them later, right?

Will the Fesh lose his luggage?

For a long time I was contemplating whether to blog about this or not. It's simple, if I blog about it I am probably going to jinx it............hmm..........no risk no fun I guess? Okay, over may many travels I have never lost my luggage. And I don't mean lost as in it never got back to me, I mean lost as in I never waited at the belt and the luggage didn't come!

Yeah I guess I'm lucky, especially that I travel quite often. So, this time when I was coming to elCairo I chose to fly Austrian Airlines although it has only 30 min connection time in Vienna. Most of my colleagues who flew Austrian to Warsaw did lose their luggage! Against all warnings, I decided what the hell, if I am ever to lose my luggage I want to know about it! (I am messed up in the head).

So here I am sitting at the lounge at Cairo Airport after I checked in my luggage, and just in all honesty I did ask the hot chikita at the check-in counter to put a 'priority' tag on my bag. So what do you think, let's get the voting going will it be:

A. I will get my luggage normally at the belt in Warsaw.
B. I will lose my luggage, but it will come on the next flight.
C. I will lose my luggage for good?

Leaving elCairo...again

It's been almost a year and a half since I left elCairo for Warszawa. In hindsight, I think it's one of those decisions that changed me forever. Before heading of to Warszawa, my life was very classical. Born in elCairo and studied there, lived with my family, worked in elCairo and had fun with my friends...uh...here in elCairo. Now with the move, everything changed, I needed to get used to living alone, making new friends, getting accustomed to a new culture, language ...etc.

Off course I learned a lot of things, and I am still learning but the one thing that really amazed me and still does is how my home sickness grows, exponentially, every time I come back. Everytime I come back, I dread the day I'm going to leave. The day I leave my friends and family and go back to leaving in my 'spacious' apartment back in Warszawa. The day I stop doing random non-sensecal plans, like heading to elfishawy cafe at 4am and start planing to attend house parties 2 weeks in advance. The day I leave elCairo, that is today.

SPIDER PIG

SPIDER PIG

SPIDER PIG

Does whatever a SPIDER PIG does

Can he swing

From a web

No he cant

He's a pig

LOOK OOOUUUTTT!!!!

He is a SPIDER PIG!!

(I have it as an MP3 too)

My 100th Post!

It's my 100th post! very exciting! It's been a year since I started blogging already and I thought of celebrating my 100th post by awarding some fake awards to my previous posts, here goes:


Most worrying post co-awarded to: Be afraid & The Orwellian Side of Me
Most Polska-specific post awarded to: Itdependance
Most ego-centric post awarded to: The Feshfactor
Most post likely to be featured as a motion picture awarded to: Angry Demons
Most weird post awarded to: The B.E.F.
Most funny post awarded to: Inferior Teristial Beings
Best psychotic series awarded to: The Simpsons Countdown (T-10/T-9/T-8/T-7/T-6/T-5/T-4/T-3/T-2/T-1/T)
Best Dilbert-style post awarded to: Behold a new Species
Best collaborative post awarded to: Battle Plans

This year's Best post, by popular demand, is awarded to: My Bed


Thank you and pls stay tuned for 2008's awards to be announced August 2008.

I Have Never..

...worn a bra.
* all girls drink, eh.. I kinda take a sip too.

...paid for sex.
*I drink, no one else does (yeah right!)

Since we apply a strict 'no details' rule for this drinking game, it was alright to share since no one would ever know the details. The night took an interesting turn however when we switched to Spin the Bottle, oh man there's alot of dirt on everyone by that time. Me likey :)

Fesh, I am Your Father....

So a friend of mine got just got this uber home theater and we wanted to put it to the test. We kept thinking about the ULTIMATE movie marathon to initiate the home theater with. Lord of the Rings came up, but I objected seeing that I am in the middle of the second book right now and don't want to spoil it. I pushed for an ultimate Rocky marathon, but surprisingly the idea was shot down. Finally we agreed to watch Star Wars, or as the nerdy dude at the DVD store called it: The Holy Trilogy.

It was very interesting that after a couple of beers and midway thru The Empire Strikes Back we were intrigued by Darth Vader's ability to choke people using the "Force" yet without touching them. Seemed like a very kool way to kill someone. Later we were blown away by the fact that Darth Vader could do the same remotely! One of the guys wondered loudly if having such a capability "Remotely Choking to Death" as a nice colorful button on our internal Instant Messaging tool at work, was a good idea. Off course we can tone it down like maybe make it send a 3-second electric shock to the other person or something, but other than that sign me up.

hmmm.... maybe nerdy sci-fi movies and beer is not a good combination after all?

Feshtoid # 5269

Today I learned that 80% of all women in Egypt wear the hijab (i.e. cover their hair with the Islamic head scarf). Seeing that Christians are 10% of the population, this means that 50% of all women without hijab are statistically Christian. I found that very interesting, because as a teenager all my Muslim friends used to tease me that I have 1 in 10 chance of the girl being Christian, now with the hijab factor in I have 1 in 2 chance!

I don't know why I'm blogging about this, it's not like I meet random girls all the time and I have a need to determine their religion! It's just something that I was teased so much about while growing up and I was happy to hear this statistic. Yes, teenage Fesh is still alive in me.

But in all fairness I think my calculation is biased, seeing that this number is over total population and my guess is that the hijab penetration is much higher with certain socio-economic classes and also in specific areas. So probably if you factor that in, probably folks I mingle with would be more at 50% hijab penetration, which means statistically I have a 1 in 5 chances.... ah crap .......back to square one :S