I enjoyed my first car during university, the funny thing is that after university when I decided to buy my second car, I wasn't looking for the usual options (Engine capacity, A/C, power steering ..etc) but rather the basic ones like:
1. Has side mirrors, so you don't crash into a car coming at 60 Km/hr while you're coming out of a parking spot.
1. Has fuel gage in the dashboard, so you don't need to pop the hood, get out the 40 cm steel rod and insert it in the fuel tank to know how much fuel you have in the car (think how you measure you're engine's oil, it's the same).
As I was leaving for Warsaw I sold my fuel-gauge-dashboard-equipped car, and as I'm back now in elCairo on vacation I'm enjoying my fuel gaugeless, side mirrorless 1956 VW bug! :)
Monday, April 02, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Supermarket Cluedo
Did you notice how people passing by you in a Supermarket would look through your shopping cart?And not only look but sometimes stare? And the funny bit is that after checking out your cart people would always look at you. It's like playing Cluedo, first they see the items in your cart (the clues) and now they are looking at the suspect. One time I decide to mess with people a bit so I filled my cart with pickle jars (like 15 of them) and on top of those I put 2 packs of 8-roll toilet paper and man did I get some seriously confused faces :D
Sunday, March 25, 2007
300 Spartans and 1 Fesh
All blood and flying heads/arms/legs aside, 300 is a really good movie. It tells the epic story of how 300 soldiers form Sparta withstood the incoming Persian army although they were outnumbered 500:1 or 1500:1 (depending on estimates of how big the Persian army was).
Without spoiling for you the movie, there is this scene where the Persian Emperor (Xerxes I) tells the Spartan King (Leonidas I) that Sparta will be spared if he were to command his soldiers to surrender now and lay down their weapons. To this Leonidas replies: Come and Take Them! Which off course is a perfect reply by a brave king to an evil invading emperor in a Hollywood movie, but turns out that historically-speaking the Spartan king did actually say this to the Persian Emperor! More interesting is that the "Come and Take Them" statement lives till this day as the motto of the Greek First Army Corps! In Greek it is: Molōn labe!
Without spoiling for you the movie, there is this scene where the Persian Emperor (Xerxes I) tells the Spartan King (Leonidas I) that Sparta will be spared if he were to command his soldiers to surrender now and lay down their weapons. To this Leonidas replies: Come and Take Them! Which off course is a perfect reply by a brave king to an evil invading emperor in a Hollywood movie, but turns out that historically-speaking the Spartan king did actually say this to the Persian Emperor! More interesting is that the "Come and Take Them" statement lives till this day as the motto of the Greek First Army Corps! In Greek it is: Molōn labe!
Saturday, March 24, 2007
The Orwellian Side of Me.
Recently there has been a lot of debate about governments passing bills giving them the right to spy on all kinds of personal communications, be it mobile, email ..etc. Needless to say there's an uproar everywhere this is happening. For me, I don't mind the government spying on me.
If I look back, at some point it was common for people to take their own security into their hands (by carrying a sword, pistol or a rifle). Then we basically gave up this right and we delegated it to the Police. Same thing with trusting the judicial system to decide whether you're guilty or not.
I guess my point being, if we assume Big Brother (all hail the Orwellian world we live in) is good then nothing bad can come from the courts, police or the spy agencies listening in to your conversations. However, if Big Brother is corrupt then honestly I'd worry more about the Police busting me for no reason, throwing me in jail for a life-time and continuously torturing me BEFORE I'd worry about a spy agency listening to my calls to my mother.
If I look back, at some point it was common for people to take their own security into their hands (by carrying a sword, pistol or a rifle). Then we basically gave up this right and we delegated it to the Police. Same thing with trusting the judicial system to decide whether you're guilty or not.
I guess my point being, if we assume Big Brother (all hail the Orwellian world we live in) is good then nothing bad can come from the courts, police or the spy agencies listening in to your conversations. However, if Big Brother is corrupt then honestly I'd worry more about the Police busting me for no reason, throwing me in jail for a life-time and continuously torturing me BEFORE I'd worry about a spy agency listening to my calls to my mother.
Monday, March 19, 2007
One Year of Solitude
Yeah! It's been a year since I moved to Warsaw and started living on my own!
*Technically, I arrived in Warsaw on 31st of March and seeing that I am going back to Cairo on 28th of March (for Easter holidays yaaaaaaaaaay!) then it's not really a complete year, but for dramatic reasons we'll consider it a year, okay?
I must admit that it's a very full filling experience. From one side it's boring, as you don't have family living with you, but on the other hand your routine at home differs dramatically. I think I appreciate living alone, at least for now. An interesting side-effect of living alone is that you actually look forward for vacations with your family and you long for your noisy nieces! :)
More interestingly, as mentioned above, I'm off to elCairo next week! WOHO! ze mothership is calling me again and I must answer the call! very excited!
Oh yeah and if you think this post's title is plagiarized from Marquez's 100 Years of Solitude.....
uhm......
ah.....
you got me :D
*Technically, I arrived in Warsaw on 31st of March and seeing that I am going back to Cairo on 28th of March (for Easter holidays yaaaaaaaaaay!) then it's not really a complete year, but for dramatic reasons we'll consider it a year, okay?
I must admit that it's a very full filling experience. From one side it's boring, as you don't have family living with you, but on the other hand your routine at home differs dramatically. I think I appreciate living alone, at least for now. An interesting side-effect of living alone is that you actually look forward for vacations with your family and you long for your noisy nieces! :)
More interestingly, as mentioned above, I'm off to elCairo next week! WOHO! ze mothership is calling me again and I must answer the call! very excited!
Oh yeah and if you think this post's title is plagiarized from Marquez's 100 Years of Solitude.....
uhm......
ah.....
you got me :D
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
The acp Gene
Recently I found myself in a couple of corporate trainings. I was happy to mingle with other fellow Homo Corpratuses(Man The Corporate Offices Dweller) and it was also a constant reminder of how we are different.
One behavior in particular, I attribute it to the acp gene (which I discovered and it ONLY exists in Homo Corpratus DNA), is very interesting. I have noticed that since we Homo Corpratus are working daily in an organized and disciplined way, this basically impacts us and how we behave with fellow Homo Corpratuses even if we don't know them before hand.
Take for example this, for 2 days we took our lunch in the same restaurant in the hotel we were having the training in. On the third day we break for lunch and our instructors tell us lunch is at the same restaurant. We start leaving the room, in an organized line, and basically the people in the front of the line decide to walk to the other meeting room (for an unknown weird reason) and basically I find that the next 20 people are following them to the room. The next scene is the funny one, I stood back and watched as they reached the door of the meeting room, stood there and then realized basically that they were simply following the line instead of heading back to the restaurant!
Another impact of the acp gene is that we are sub-consciously figuring out the rules and sticking to them. For example, by the end of another training we were filling out the evaluation sheets, the instructors asked us to put the sheet on the table after we're done. I was sitting next to the table and the first few people placed the evaluation sheets face up, one person tried to place it face up, but the paper fell face down. All the following 30 something evaluations were put face down. The amazing thing is that no one intentionally looked at the stack of papers, you could see people approaching, not looking at the papers, then dropping it face down and leaving. The acp gene strikes again!
Oh I almost forgot, acp stands for Ant Colony Protein gene
One behavior in particular, I attribute it to the acp gene (which I discovered and it ONLY exists in Homo Corpratus DNA), is very interesting. I have noticed that since we Homo Corpratus are working daily in an organized and disciplined way, this basically impacts us and how we behave with fellow Homo Corpratuses even if we don't know them before hand.
Take for example this, for 2 days we took our lunch in the same restaurant in the hotel we were having the training in. On the third day we break for lunch and our instructors tell us lunch is at the same restaurant. We start leaving the room, in an organized line, and basically the people in the front of the line decide to walk to the other meeting room (for an unknown weird reason) and basically I find that the next 20 people are following them to the room. The next scene is the funny one, I stood back and watched as they reached the door of the meeting room, stood there and then realized basically that they were simply following the line instead of heading back to the restaurant!
Another impact of the acp gene is that we are sub-consciously figuring out the rules and sticking to them. For example, by the end of another training we were filling out the evaluation sheets, the instructors asked us to put the sheet on the table after we're done. I was sitting next to the table and the first few people placed the evaluation sheets face up, one person tried to place it face up, but the paper fell face down. All the following 30 something evaluations were put face down. The amazing thing is that no one intentionally looked at the stack of papers, you could see people approaching, not looking at the papers, then dropping it face down and leaving. The acp gene strikes again!
Oh I almost forgot, acp stands for Ant Colony Protein gene
Friday, March 09, 2007
Are you a Mermaid?
I came across this piece in a training, it's a long read, but trust me you wont regret it:
--------------------
Giants, Wizards, Dwarfs and Mermaids (by Robert Fulghum) [I summarized it a bit]
Giants, wizards and dwarfs was the game to play.Being left in charge of about eighty children seven to ten years old, while their parents were off doing parenty things, I mustered my troops in the church social hall and explained the game. It's a large-scale version of Rock, Paper, and Scissors, and involves some intellectual decision making. But the real purpose of the game is to make a lot of noise and run around chasing people until nobody knows which side you are on or who won.
The excitement of the chase had reached a critical mass. I yelled out: "You have to decide now which you are--a GIANT, a WIZARD, or a DWARF! "While the groups huddled in frenzied, whispered consultation, a tug came at my pants leg. A small child stands there looking up, and asks in a small, concerned voice, "Where do the Mermaids stand?"
Where do the Mermaids stand? A long pause. A very long pause. "Where do the Mermaids stand?" says I.
"Yes. You see, I am a Mermaid."
"There are no such thing as Mermaids."
"Oh, yes, I am one!"
She did not relate to being a Giant, a Wizard, or a Dwarf. She knew her category. Mermaid. And was not about to leave the game and go over and stand against the wall where a loser would stand. She intended to participate, wherever Mermaids fit into the scheme of things. Without giving up dignity or identity. She took it for granted that there was a place for Mermaids and that I would know just where.
"The Mermaid stands right here by the King of the Sea!" says I. So we stood there hand in hand, reviewing the troops of Wizards and Giants and Dwarfs as they roiled by in wild disarray.
It is not true, by the way, that Mermaids do not exist. I know at least one personally.
I have held her hand.
---------------------
Very inspiring...
--------------------
Giants, Wizards, Dwarfs and Mermaids (by Robert Fulghum) [I summarized it a bit]
Giants, wizards and dwarfs was the game to play.Being left in charge of about eighty children seven to ten years old, while their parents were off doing parenty things, I mustered my troops in the church social hall and explained the game. It's a large-scale version of Rock, Paper, and Scissors, and involves some intellectual decision making. But the real purpose of the game is to make a lot of noise and run around chasing people until nobody knows which side you are on or who won.
The excitement of the chase had reached a critical mass. I yelled out: "You have to decide now which you are--a GIANT, a WIZARD, or a DWARF! "While the groups huddled in frenzied, whispered consultation, a tug came at my pants leg. A small child stands there looking up, and asks in a small, concerned voice, "Where do the Mermaids stand?"
Where do the Mermaids stand? A long pause. A very long pause. "Where do the Mermaids stand?" says I.
"Yes. You see, I am a Mermaid."
"There are no such thing as Mermaids."
"Oh, yes, I am one!"
She did not relate to being a Giant, a Wizard, or a Dwarf. She knew her category. Mermaid. And was not about to leave the game and go over and stand against the wall where a loser would stand. She intended to participate, wherever Mermaids fit into the scheme of things. Without giving up dignity or identity. She took it for granted that there was a place for Mermaids and that I would know just where.
"The Mermaid stands right here by the King of the Sea!" says I. So we stood there hand in hand, reviewing the troops of Wizards and Giants and Dwarfs as they roiled by in wild disarray.
It is not true, by the way, that Mermaids do not exist. I know at least one personally.
I have held her hand.
---------------------
Very inspiring...
Monday, March 05, 2007
My bouncer-complex
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate bouncers in general. It's just that some of them get on my nerves. It's the ones who would basically [not] select me to go into the club. What bothers me is not the fact that I was [not] selected, it's rather the stuff bouncers make up when they are basically telling you to beat it. My favorite two are:
1. "It's very busy we're not letting more people in"
HELLO? It's a CLUB .. on a SATURDAY night? It's expected to be busy? Last I checked the busier the better? Isn't this like trying to get into a Restaurant and someone telling you: Hey buddy, tonight the food is so delicious, so we aren't allowing people to come in?!
2. "Tonight is members only"
RIIIIIIGHT, and what about those 5 random half-drunk girls that showed up 10 mins ago, stood in the line and got in?! Oh, they were members, off course!
See, not only are you humiliated for not getting to get into the club, you basically feel dumb because of the stupid reasons they give you. What would happen if they just said:
1. Oh my God you look like a rapist.
OR
2. hahahahah, seriously dude?
Now THOSE ...... I can relate too, see I'm a reasonable man.
1. "It's very busy we're not letting more people in"
HELLO? It's a CLUB .. on a SATURDAY night? It's expected to be busy? Last I checked the busier the better? Isn't this like trying to get into a Restaurant and someone telling you: Hey buddy, tonight the food is so delicious, so we aren't allowing people to come in?!
2. "Tonight is members only"
RIIIIIIGHT, and what about those 5 random half-drunk girls that showed up 10 mins ago, stood in the line and got in?! Oh, they were members, off course!
See, not only are you humiliated for not getting to get into the club, you basically feel dumb because of the stupid reasons they give you. What would happen if they just said:
1. Oh my God you look like a rapist.
OR
2. hahahahah, seriously dude?
Now THOSE ...... I can relate too, see I'm a reasonable man.
Capetownian Weekend!
Plane ticket: $30
Night at hostel: $9
Total cost of hotel + plane for a weekend in Capetown under $40: PRICELESS!
It's TRUE! I had some meetings in Joburg during first week of Feb and I was finishing my meeting on a Friday, so a few days before I decided to go to Capetown and I searched until I was able to get a ticket on one of those Oh-My-God-I-really-hope-the-plane-actually-has-REAL-landing-gears airlines for under $30! And being a big fan of hostels, I booked a bed for $9 and I was all set!
The highlight of my trip was Robben Island, an island 30 minutes off Capetown and was the home of Nelson Mandela when he was a political prisoner. It's a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most impressively organized sites/museums I have ever seen. It starts with a min-museum then you take the Ferry to the island. there you're greeted by a guide and you board a bus that takes you all around the island and finally drops you to the main building of the prison. There you get a new guide who actually was a prisoner! He then walks you through the whole building and returns you to the ferry.
Very, very impressive.
It makes you think why other touristic sites, like the Giza Pyramids for example, don't employ such neat organization.
Night at hostel: $9
Total cost of hotel + plane for a weekend in Capetown under $40: PRICELESS!
It's TRUE! I had some meetings in Joburg during first week of Feb and I was finishing my meeting on a Friday, so a few days before I decided to go to Capetown and I searched until I was able to get a ticket on one of those Oh-My-God-I-really-hope-the-plane-actually-has-REAL-landing-gears airlines for under $30! And being a big fan of hostels, I booked a bed for $9 and I was all set!
The highlight of my trip was Robben Island, an island 30 minutes off Capetown and was the home of Nelson Mandela when he was a political prisoner. It's a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most impressively organized sites/museums I have ever seen. It starts with a min-museum then you take the Ferry to the island. there you're greeted by a guide and you board a bus that takes you all around the island and finally drops you to the main building of the prison. There you get a new guide who actually was a prisoner! He then walks you through the whole building and returns you to the ferry.
Very, very impressive.
It makes you think why other touristic sites, like the Giza Pyramids for example, don't employ such neat organization.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
The Year of the Golden FESH!
Shotgun 2007!
Yup in accordance with standard shotgun rules 2007 is MINE ..MIIINNNEEEE ...MIIIINNNEEEEEEEEEEE
My precccccccccccccccccciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuussssssssssssssss!
Okay, although I don't owe you ANY explanation why it's the year of the Golden Fesh (since I rightfully shot-gunned it before ANYONE else) I will still shed some light on why I chose this year, here's the 7 reasons:
1. 7 is my lucky number
2. I was born on the 7th day of the month
3. I was born on the 7th month of the year
4. This year my birthday will be 07.07.07 (how kool is that?)
5. My blog is called Blog7
6. Beca7use I said so.
7. Because you can do NO7THING about it. Bite me.
Yup in accordance with standard shotgun rules 2007 is MINE ..MIIINNNEEEE ...MIIIINNNEEEEEEEEEEE
My precccccccccccccccccciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuussssssssssssssss!
Okay, although I don't owe you ANY explanation why it's the year of the Golden Fesh (since I rightfully shot-gunned it before ANYONE else) I will still shed some light on why I chose this year, here's the 7 reasons:
1. 7 is my lucky number
2. I was born on the 7th day of the month
3. I was born on the 7th month of the year
4. This year my birthday will be 07.07.07 (how kool is that?)
5. My blog is called Blog7
6. Beca7use I said so.
7. Because you can do NO7THING about it. Bite me.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
The Blogless Month
I chose not to blog in the month of Feb. It's MY blog and EyE put the rules, you have a problem with that?
*silence*
Excellent, now I can resume. So, my Feb was packed from partying in UK to suntanning in South Africa to visiting the Red Square at the heart of Moscow! :)
So expect some blogs VERY soon! I AM BACK!
*silence*
Excellent, now I can resume. So, my Feb was packed from partying in UK to suntanning in South Africa to visiting the Red Square at the heart of Moscow! :)
So expect some blogs VERY soon! I AM BACK!
Monday, January 22, 2007
Exemptophobia II - The Syrian Nod
Editorial note: After the success of "Exemptophobia I", a big-budget sequel was quickly produced by the evil movie studios. The sequel, which was highly anticipated, explores some of the details that have been omitted from the original movie. Enjoy: Exemptophobia II - The Syrian Nod
*flash-back to a scene from Exemptophobia I:
I was very excited As I marched into the immigration booths of Syria's Aleppo airport at 2 am on a sticky summer night.....
*the camera, instead of continuing to follow Fesh as in the first part, suddenly turns to revel aku (pronounced a-ko) walking casually next to Fesh!
....yes.. I was not alone during my dreaded Syria experience. I tried to forget that aku was there with me and he saw everything. In Syria we -without our passports- accidentally stumbled upon the ancient art of Syrian Nodding. Make no mistake, for this ancient art is deadly. Many have tried to learn it, a handful passed the test and only ONE is still alive. We do not know his real name, we only know him as: The Jordanian Embassy in Damascus Guard Nodding Jedi Master (thereafter referred to :/ ).
We encountered :/ in front of the Jordanian Embassy in Damascus. We wanted to get in, however :/ didn't honour our request with an answer, instead :/ nodded. Confused, we went ahead to ask another question. Again :/ nodded. Frustrated, we tried to bypass :/ and enter the embassy. This time, :/ nodded.
Although :/ never spoke to us, we understood very well what :/ wanted to tell us.
We left the embassy that day without many answers, but with a firm belief that our brief encounter with the Syrian Nodding Jedi Master has changed our fate for years to come.
:/
*flash-back to a scene from Exemptophobia I:
I was very excited As I marched into the immigration booths of Syria's Aleppo airport at 2 am on a sticky summer night.....
*the camera, instead of continuing to follow Fesh as in the first part, suddenly turns to revel aku (pronounced a-ko) walking casually next to Fesh!
....yes.. I was not alone during my dreaded Syria experience. I tried to forget that aku was there with me and he saw everything. In Syria we -without our passports- accidentally stumbled upon the ancient art of Syrian Nodding. Make no mistake, for this ancient art is deadly. Many have tried to learn it, a handful passed the test and only ONE is still alive. We do not know his real name, we only know him as: The Jordanian Embassy in Damascus Guard Nodding Jedi Master (thereafter referred to :/ ).
We encountered :/ in front of the Jordanian Embassy in Damascus. We wanted to get in, however :/ didn't honour our request with an answer, instead :/ nodded. Confused, we went ahead to ask another question. Again :/ nodded. Frustrated, we tried to bypass :/ and enter the embassy. This time, :/ nodded.
Although :/ never spoke to us, we understood very well what :/ wanted to tell us.
We left the embassy that day without many answers, but with a firm belief that our brief encounter with the Syrian Nodding Jedi Master has changed our fate for years to come.
:/
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Exemptophobia
E-xem-pto-pho-bi-a(noun): an abnormal fear of being exempted from anything.
Based on latest figures Exrmptophobia hits 1 in every 9 billion. Considering that the human population is around 6 billion, you have to admit I'm damn unlucky to be Exemptophobic. I developed a severe case of Exemptophobia a few years back. I was planning a trip to Syria so I went to the Embassy to check what I need to issue a visa and they told me: As an Egyptian you are EXEMPTED from a visa! Now, these words might seem familiar to you if you hold a US passport but believe me for Egyptians (and I can tell from my personal experience of visiting 35 different countries) you need to issue a visa for any country you want to visit!
I was very excited As I marched into the immigration booths of Syria's Aleppo airport at 2 am on a sticky summer night. The excitement of entering THE FIRST country that exempted me from a visa vanished in a few seconds as I was dragged to a 45 min interrogation and walked out there without my passport!!!!!!!!!
Yes, turns out alot of Egyptian students enter Syria and stay illegally there. And since I was "EXEMPTED" from a visa and the JOB field in my passport read: STUDENT I was a text-book example of the illegal alien. I was given the option to either wait in the airport and take next plane to Cairo (i.e. to be deported) or surrender my passport and take it as I leave Syria and off course I opted for the latter.
For the next 7 days I enjoyed Syria (Great country by the way! you must visit it) but the fact that I am in a foreign country (and let's not forget not ANY foreign country, it's Syria!) without my passport nurtured my growing Exemptophobia. Thankfully, after going to the administration building in downtown Damascus for 4 days in a row and bribing a couple of officials I was able to get my sweeeeeeet sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet passport back.
The interesting is that this all came back to me a few days ago as I was at the South African Embassy here in Warsaw getting my visa and the lady looked at me and said:
YOU ARE EXEMPTED...
As an Exemptophobic, I felt the cold sweat break from my forehead and the early signs of a full scale seizure kicking in, luckily the lady completed by saying:
...FROM VISA FEES!
Based on latest figures Exrmptophobia hits 1 in every 9 billion. Considering that the human population is around 6 billion, you have to admit I'm damn unlucky to be Exemptophobic. I developed a severe case of Exemptophobia a few years back. I was planning a trip to Syria so I went to the Embassy to check what I need to issue a visa and they told me: As an Egyptian you are EXEMPTED from a visa! Now, these words might seem familiar to you if you hold a US passport but believe me for Egyptians (and I can tell from my personal experience of visiting 35 different countries) you need to issue a visa for any country you want to visit!
I was very excited As I marched into the immigration booths of Syria's Aleppo airport at 2 am on a sticky summer night. The excitement of entering THE FIRST country that exempted me from a visa vanished in a few seconds as I was dragged to a 45 min interrogation and walked out there without my passport!!!!!!!!!
Yes, turns out alot of Egyptian students enter Syria and stay illegally there. And since I was "EXEMPTED" from a visa and the JOB field in my passport read: STUDENT I was a text-book example of the illegal alien. I was given the option to either wait in the airport and take next plane to Cairo (i.e. to be deported) or surrender my passport and take it as I leave Syria and off course I opted for the latter.
For the next 7 days I enjoyed Syria (Great country by the way! you must visit it) but the fact that I am in a foreign country (and let's not forget not ANY foreign country, it's Syria!) without my passport nurtured my growing Exemptophobia. Thankfully, after going to the administration building in downtown Damascus for 4 days in a row and bribing a couple of officials I was able to get my sweeeeeeet sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet passport back.
The interesting is that this all came back to me a few days ago as I was at the South African Embassy here in Warsaw getting my visa and the lady looked at me and said:
YOU ARE EXEMPTED...
As an Exemptophobic, I felt the cold sweat break from my forehead and the early signs of a full scale seizure kicking in, luckily the lady completed by saying:
...FROM VISA FEES!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
MORE Hair! (think DHL's MORE Power campaign)
Yes it's official, I am growing MORE hair WOHO! Yes! I have been growing my hair for the last year and I was contemplating reducing the number of hairs. What I did is that I commissioned 2 of the voices in my head to conduct a study on the best strategy. The Hair Study Group came back with a long list of recommendations, however, I decided to stay the course and I recommended a surge of 20,000 more hairs to be grown immediately in my head under the commitment from myself that by November 2007 I'll be controlling most of my head.
As soon as this was announced, I welcomed the announcement and issued a statement clearly expressing my strong interest and commitment to the continual growth of my hair. That off course does NOT guarantee that I'll be growing my hair because I can decide to squeeze the budget I allocated for my Hair Gel and thus effectively cancelling my initial plans of growing more hair. I'm very complex.
As soon as this was announced, I welcomed the announcement and issued a statement clearly expressing my strong interest and commitment to the continual growth of my hair. That off course does NOT guarantee that I'll be growing my hair because I can decide to squeeze the budget I allocated for my Hair Gel and thus effectively cancelling my initial plans of growing more hair. I'm very complex.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
The "Coal" Dealers
Ever since I read Crichton's State of Fear (and I dubbed it "The Da vinci code of Global Warming" in this earlier post) I started my own mini-obsession with Global Warming. Recently I read "The Weather Makers" and I must say I found the author extremely boring as he repeats himself towards the end of each and everyone of his 36 short-but-amazingly-boring chapters.
I however learned two very fun facts:
1. I was amazed by how far reaching COAL lobbyists are?! Yes I said coal lobbyists! For me, I understand when Governments are under the influence of big evil oil companies (*cough*Iraq invasion*cough*Cheney*cough*Halliburton) but Coal?! All those years I thought only the village people were into the coal business?!Turns out not only is there a Coal lobby, it's arguably the most powerful in resisting actions against Global Warming!
2. Turns out Global Warming is NOT caused by Big Evil Corporations, it's caused by YOU. The two biggest sources of CO2 emissions and therefore Global Warming are:
I however learned two very fun facts:
1. I was amazed by how far reaching COAL lobbyists are?! Yes I said coal lobbyists! For me, I understand when Governments are under the influence of big evil oil companies (*cough*Iraq invasion*cough*Cheney*cough*Halliburton) but Coal?! All those years I thought only the village people were into the coal business?!Turns out not only is there a Coal lobby, it's arguably the most powerful in resisting actions against Global Warming!
2. Turns out Global Warming is NOT caused by Big Evil Corporations, it's caused by YOU. The two biggest sources of CO2 emissions and therefore Global Warming are:
- Transportation (cars, planes, ships ...etc)
- Use of electricity (most electricity is generated from non-renewable sources like coal or oil)
So when you think of it that way, it becomes clear that if we ALL decide to have a more fuel economy car or a hybrid or maybe use public transportation more. Or if we decided to reduce our electricity bill per month by 10%-20% or a more drastic 50% by installing Solar panels (if that's an option where you live) then you are ACTIVELY fighting Global Warming.
Think about it, definitely your actions can help!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Behold ... a new Species!
The first species in the Homo (Latin for Man) genus (a genus is a grouping of similar species) first appeared over 2.5 million years ago in our archeological records. Over this span of time, we evolved from Homo Habilis (Handy Man) to Homo Ergaster (Working Man) to almost 10 more species of Homos (insert your preferred gay joke or remark here pls) before we hit Homo Sapiens (Man The Thinker).
Now, seeing how I behave in the office recently I believe I've mutated into Homo Corporatus (Man The Corporate Offices Dweller). Three key reasons drive me to believe that I AM the first of my species:
1. I have developed a phobia of feeling that even if I'm on mute while in a conference call everyone on the other end of the line can hear me. This phobia is magnified if I am on a VERY long call and I need to pee. I have to go through a cycle of muting and un-muting my phone 3-4 times to make SURE that not everyone in the call will hear me answering natural's call.
2. At the end of the call I summarize it, agree on next steps and thank my mother for her time.
3. I wait for my daily Dilbert comic strip to show up in inbox. I check it eagerly as soon as it comes in. At first I find them lame. Then, I find it ironic that I was in a similar situation at one point. Later I laugh. I then cry. Daily.
Read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_(genus)
Now, seeing how I behave in the office recently I believe I've mutated into Homo Corporatus (Man The Corporate Offices Dweller). Three key reasons drive me to believe that I AM the first of my species:
1. I have developed a phobia of feeling that even if I'm on mute while in a conference call everyone on the other end of the line can hear me. This phobia is magnified if I am on a VERY long call and I need to pee. I have to go through a cycle of muting and un-muting my phone 3-4 times to make SURE that not everyone in the call will hear me answering natural's call.
2. At the end of the call I summarize it, agree on next steps and thank my mother for her time.
3. I wait for my daily Dilbert comic strip to show up in inbox. I check it eagerly as soon as it comes in. At first I find them lame. Then, I find it ironic that I was in a similar situation at one point. Later I laugh. I then cry. Daily.
Read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_(genus)
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Christmas on 25th, then on 7th WOHO!
Wohooooooooooooo! I just celebrated Christmas ......uhm.....again! :D
Actually I've always celebrated Christmas on the 7th of Jan. Every single year I wanted to look-up why Orthodox and Copts (like myself) celebrate Christmas on 7th of Jan while Western Christians celebrate it on the 25th.
So I found the long answer and I'll posting the link at the bottom, the summary is:
Actually I've always celebrated Christmas on the 7th of Jan. Every single year I wanted to look-up why Orthodox and Copts (like myself) celebrate Christmas on 7th of Jan while Western Christians celebrate it on the 25th.
So I found the long answer and I'll posting the link at the bottom, the summary is:
- Early Church fathers tried to estimate Jesus' birthday, by second century AD dates like May 20, April 18, April 19, May 28, January 2, November 17, November 20, March 21 and March 25 were all candidates.
- Modern scholarship estimates the year of Jesus' birth to be between 7 to 4 BC.
- Although the Gospel narratives offer no indication as to the date, they do seem to indicate it was not in the winter.
- By 273 AD, Western Christians had decided on December 25 to celebrate the birth of Jesus. The December date for the holiday probably arose from a desire to provide an alternative to the Roman "birthday of the unconquered sun" which was celebrated on the 25th of Dec.
- Some Orthodox Churches (including the Coptic one I believe) still use the Julian calendar ("old calendar") for their religious calendar. The Julian calendar is the predecessor to the Gregorian calendar ("new calendar") that is now the civil calendar of the western world. The Julian calendar is 13 days different from the Gregorian, so December 25 on the Julian calendar occurs on January 7 on the Gregorian calendar
This was news to me! :) I always thought the the difference between the two dates was because of a certain fundamental disagreement between the Eastern and Western Christan Churches! Seems it's just a technicality depending on which calendar is in use!
For the full article it's here: http://www.religionfacts.com/christianity/holidays/christmas.htm
Friday, January 05, 2007
When FINALLY you'r understood...
I maintain more or LESS (more emphasis on the LESS rather than the more) the same blog inside my work's intranet. So in response to my astronomically-egocentric post "The FeshFactor" I got this comment from a friend of mine @ work:
"A most impressive analysis that not only ties your self-importance to the world around you but also demonstrates a solid example of narcissistic personality disorder (http://www.webmd.com/content/article/118/112876.htm)"
So simple and yet so true...
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
...and for that I respect Saddam Hussein
Have you seen Saddam Hussein's "leaked" cell phone video of the execution? It's not for the light hearted as the video goes on to record scenes of Saddam's lifeless body, post the execution! The strange thing is right before Saddam is executed -as you have probably heard on the news- the people in the room start to taunt him. Saddam's reaction to this taunting surprised me, he was very calm and in a very low tone and a small grin on his face he said: Is that the bravery of the Arab people?
This really blows my mind, how can you be seconds away from your death and even when humiliated, you not only keep your cool, but even better to utter such a well-thought statement that coldly and bitterly insults those who taunt you?
This statement, specially that Saddam said it in classical Arabic, is amazing as Arabs -specially in the older times- usually were very proud and wrote poems about how brave a person is or how generous. Bravery specially is regraded as a key trait that is appreciated. So a statement like this -I'd think- clearly undermines the bravery of those who dared only to insult him when he's about to be hanged.
I despise Saddam for the dictator he was, yet I respect how he faced his humiliating death.
This really blows my mind, how can you be seconds away from your death and even when humiliated, you not only keep your cool, but even better to utter such a well-thought statement that coldly and bitterly insults those who taunt you?
This statement, specially that Saddam said it in classical Arabic, is amazing as Arabs -specially in the older times- usually were very proud and wrote poems about how brave a person is or how generous. Bravery specially is regraded as a key trait that is appreciated. So a statement like this -I'd think- clearly undermines the bravery of those who dared only to insult him when he's about to be hanged.
I despise Saddam for the dictator he was, yet I respect how he faced his humiliating death.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Proud to be an Arab
I was watching the coverage of James Brown's funeral on the news and the thousands of mourners who came to pay their respects to the Godfather of Soul. It was very moving, one lady who was interviewed said that as she grew up in a time when it was difficult for her being black, obviously before the Civil rights movement. She added that for her James Brown helped her become proud of who she is and made her say that she's proud to be Black.
I'm wondering who would that person be for me as an Arab? A person so influential that he/she would reshape the world's perception of Arabs... a person that will make believe it when I say:
Proud to be an Arab
I'm wondering who would that person be for me as an Arab? A person so influential that he/she would reshape the world's perception of Arabs... a person that will make believe it when I say:
Proud to be an Arab
Friday, December 29, 2006
Archeology Sucks
So yesterday I was watching a Discovery Channel documentary about a new tomb discovered in the valley of the Kings in Egypt. The tomb was named KV63 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KV63) and hailed as THE most important discovery in the Valley of the Kings in over 80 years!
So here's the part I don't understand, all this exponential technological advances and mankind hasn't yet created a device that would shoot x-rays or any other kind of rays thru the ground to be able to spot HUGE EMPTY ROOMS that are hidden under a few meters of rock?This just blows my mind!
We do have an International Space Station in Orbit around the Earth!? And yet it takes us 80 years to find an extremely important tomb, in the valley of the Kings and oh by the way did I mention it it was found only 15 meters away from, arguably, the most famous tomb in the world: King Tut's Tomb?!
So here's the part I don't understand, all this exponential technological advances and mankind hasn't yet created a device that would shoot x-rays or any other kind of rays thru the ground to be able to spot HUGE EMPTY ROOMS that are hidden under a few meters of rock?This just blows my mind!
We do have an International Space Station in Orbit around the Earth!? And yet it takes us 80 years to find an extremely important tomb, in the valley of the Kings and oh by the way did I mention it it was found only 15 meters away from, arguably, the most famous tomb in the world: King Tut's Tomb?!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
The FeshFactor
So, I've just spent my first Christmas in Poland! Woho! Well to my surprise it was Sunny on the 25th?! Actually it didn't and so far hadn't snowed! I was actually happy it didn't, I know a lot of snow is coming my way and I'm not in a hurry at all.
The funny thing is that I was talking with a few of my friends from work today and they told me that this is very strange. Actually one of them told me that as far as he can remember there was always snow on 24th/25th! So before you jump to blaming Global Warming, check this out. Meanwhile, 1,613.34 miles away (that's not a random number, I'm so bored that I measured that on Google Earth), Cairo is suffering from some surprisingly low temperatures, that is relative tot he average temperature in Cairo around that time!
Seeing that this is obviously a new phenomenon, I'm proposing calling it: The FeshFactor, you know like: The Big Bang or The General Theory of Relativity. The idea is very simple, it's been proven experimentally that I raise the temperature of the city I'm in by an average of 3-5 degrees Celsius. The explanation of how this phenomenon works is lengthy and at times technical, but I'll give you the summary:
My magnetic field, generated by my huge ego, interferes with the Earth's own magnetic field thus causing the slow down of the rotation of the Earth's hot molten core. This usually results in higher temperatures, if you don't believe me check movies like: Day After Tomorrow or The Core (for a lack of a better name).
P.S: I'm happy with my current shrink, so pls spare me the referrals to good shrinks who "helped a very good friend of yours".
The funny thing is that I was talking with a few of my friends from work today and they told me that this is very strange. Actually one of them told me that as far as he can remember there was always snow on 24th/25th! So before you jump to blaming Global Warming, check this out. Meanwhile, 1,613.34 miles away (that's not a random number, I'm so bored that I measured that on Google Earth), Cairo is suffering from some surprisingly low temperatures, that is relative tot he average temperature in Cairo around that time!
Seeing that this is obviously a new phenomenon, I'm proposing calling it: The FeshFactor, you know like: The Big Bang or The General Theory of Relativity. The idea is very simple, it's been proven experimentally that I raise the temperature of the city I'm in by an average of 3-5 degrees Celsius. The explanation of how this phenomenon works is lengthy and at times technical, but I'll give you the summary:
My magnetic field, generated by my huge ego, interferes with the Earth's own magnetic field thus causing the slow down of the rotation of the Earth's hot molten core. This usually results in higher temperatures, if you don't believe me check movies like: Day After Tomorrow or The Core (for a lack of a better name).
P.S: I'm happy with my current shrink, so pls spare me the referrals to good shrinks who "helped a very good friend of yours".
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Moving DRAFTS to Production.. (2of 3)
As promised, more incomplete drafts fresh out of the oven....This is draft 2 of 3 :
Just yesterday I saw this article about the Hi-Res pics a spacecraft orbiting Mars has snapped (yes I'm boring and I read boring shit, we've established that) during it's multiple flyovers of the Red Planet.
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Just yesterday I saw this article about the Hi-Res pics a spacecraft orbiting Mars has snapped (yes I'm boring and I read boring shit, we've established that) during it's multiple flyovers of the Red Planet. The funky thing is that it took a picture of another spacecraft (it's the white disk in the middle of the picture) that NASA sent back in 1976.... think about it... a spacecraft that has sad there motionless for 30 years in the middle of the Martian Desert.
It's been sitting there,motionless, for basically all your life. Think about it, you were born, went to school, studied, went thru exams, vacations, university, work.. you even got married and got two kids. It was there sitting still in an alien world...isn't that freaky?
It's been sitting there,motionless, for basically all your life. Think about it, you were born, went to school, studied, went thru exams, vacations, university, work.. you even got married and got two kids. It was there sitting still in an alien world...isn't that freaky?
Monday, December 25, 2006
Itdependence
I was recently in a training intended for Expats to help them settle more into the Polish culture and although it wasn't really part of the training when the instructor asked if anyone has any questions, I asked the following:
Based on my little experience with the Polish Culture I can confidently say that if I go out now and ask 10 random ppl, 10 different questions, 8 of them will start their reply with "it depends". Do you agree?
There was an awkward 5 seconds of silence, only then that I realized that my question -although VERY valid and positioned as more of a funny comment- might be taken as offensive! I was finally relieved when the instructor -she's Polish- started her answer by an agreeing laugh! Only then did I realize that not only was not misunderstood but also I was onto SOMETHING!
Here's why I find this behavior, which I call Itdependence (pronounce it like Independence, then replace the 'n' with 't'), very strange for me. In Egypt if you ask ANYONE about ANYTHING they'd have an opinion. Although this is not necessarily a good thing because sometimes ppl just have an opinion based on little or no data at all, But what I like about non-Itdependence is that it usually results in shorter conversations and I like that.
Let me give you a hypothetical example. You ask someone if renting cars here is expensive, if the person suffers from Itdependence, you're probably going to get a lecture on how smaller cars are less expensive than bigger ones.... oh and local car rental companies will be less expensive...and if you .....bla bla bla.
Ask the same question to someone who doesn't suffer from Itdependence and you're gonna get a straight answer: Yeah, but try this company or that .. they usually have good deals. Problem solved!
Based on my little experience with the Polish Culture I can confidently say that if I go out now and ask 10 random ppl, 10 different questions, 8 of them will start their reply with "it depends". Do you agree?
There was an awkward 5 seconds of silence, only then that I realized that my question -although VERY valid and positioned as more of a funny comment- might be taken as offensive! I was finally relieved when the instructor -she's Polish- started her answer by an agreeing laugh! Only then did I realize that not only was not misunderstood but also I was onto SOMETHING!
Here's why I find this behavior, which I call Itdependence (pronounce it like Independence, then replace the 'n' with 't'), very strange for me. In Egypt if you ask ANYONE about ANYTHING they'd have an opinion. Although this is not necessarily a good thing because sometimes ppl just have an opinion based on little or no data at all, But what I like about non-Itdependence is that it usually results in shorter conversations and I like that.
Let me give you a hypothetical example. You ask someone if renting cars here is expensive, if the person suffers from Itdependence, you're probably going to get a lecture on how smaller cars are less expensive than bigger ones.... oh and local car rental companies will be less expensive...and if you .....bla bla bla.
Ask the same question to someone who doesn't suffer from Itdependence and you're gonna get a straight answer: Yeah, but try this company or that .. they usually have good deals. Problem solved!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Moving DRAFTS to Production.. (1of 3)
Occasionally I come across stuff that are just pure Gold. I know there's a lot of potential to pick on them in yet another angry post on my blog, but I don't know how. Someone of them make it (I am guessing 1 out every 4 of my 'new' posts have been sitting my draft for sometime) while others don't.
So, since it's a long vacation and I have nothing better to do, I decided to do some serious housekeeping on Blog and I decided to move the 3 drafts that are sitting them out and unleash them upon the world without any further work from my side.
So here's the first of 3:
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I read CNET's news regularly to nurture the geek inside of me, so back in August I come across an article that is titled: Intel readies 'Tulsa' Xeon debut CNET News.com (it's still there, it's a boring read, you can check it if you want). So the article talks about this new processor that has some HUGE cache memory on it. Here's the part that amused me:
.......The major use for all that new circuitry is a large amount of cache memory that stores data for faster access than main memory can provide. Tulsa has 16MB of level-three cache, more than any other chip except the top-end "Montecito" Itanium with 24MB.
"A large cache hides a multitude of sins," Gilbert said.......
Okay, maybe it's just me BUT having high paid technology Guru compare MORE onboard processor cache to a "multitude of sins" just tickles my phunny bone.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
FIFOing My Fridge
Today is a sad day. All these years I've tried to run from who I actually am. I tried to hide. But this is no longer possible. Today I found myself FIFOing my fridge subconsciously! Yes I am a nerd ... it's official now.
Okay for you non-nerds out there, before you jump to conclusions on what a sick and twisted bastard I'm because I was "FIFOing" my fridge, let me explain to you what's FIFO and what's my history with it. Okay so FIFO is First In First Out.. I've come across this in many places in life in study you use it in algorithms in Computer Science, in Accounting you use it to estimate the value of your goods ...etc.
So basically, I discovered that without thinking of it, I am ordering the stuff in my fridge in a FIFO manner ...i.e. if I have 2 Oranges from yesterday I move them to a lower shelf and put the fresh ones from today on the top shelf. This way stuff goes in to the top shelf and goes out from the bottom shelf. See, this is not a bad approach if I have a humongous fridge, or if I stock food .. the funny thing (or sad) is that I have a small fridge and usually I have like 5 Oranges there, that will be consumed over the course of 2 days. What I'm trying to say is, I was just doing this for the sake of doing it .. not because it was helping or something :S and that's why I think it's sad.
Any who reminded me of this very interesting Finance guy I used to work with back in Cairo. He used to say: Consistency over Accuracy... and that's basically what I was doing.
Okay for you non-nerds out there, before you jump to conclusions on what a sick and twisted bastard I'm because I was "FIFOing" my fridge, let me explain to you what's FIFO and what's my history with it. Okay so FIFO is First In First Out.. I've come across this in many places in life in study you use it in algorithms in Computer Science, in Accounting you use it to estimate the value of your goods ...etc.
So basically, I discovered that without thinking of it, I am ordering the stuff in my fridge in a FIFO manner ...i.e. if I have 2 Oranges from yesterday I move them to a lower shelf and put the fresh ones from today on the top shelf. This way stuff goes in to the top shelf and goes out from the bottom shelf. See, this is not a bad approach if I have a humongous fridge, or if I stock food .. the funny thing (or sad) is that I have a small fridge and usually I have like 5 Oranges there, that will be consumed over the course of 2 days. What I'm trying to say is, I was just doing this for the sake of doing it .. not because it was helping or something :S and that's why I think it's sad.
Any who reminded me of this very interesting Finance guy I used to work with back in Cairo. He used to say: Consistency over Accuracy... and that's basically what I was doing.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Don FeshFeshzioni
So I'm a big fan of The Godfather (all hail Mario Puzo), so all the killing, extortion, gambling, drugs and prostitution aside (Wow that's a lot to put on one side) you have to admit, it's be kool to be the Don right? Okay imagine you're playing "Scenes From A Hat" from Whose Line is it Anyway .. and your scene is: Dorky Corporate Slave Who Treats his coworkers as if he's a Mafia Godfather.
Now GO!
Well, I guess the first thing I'd imagien myself doing is that if I feel anyone in the office didn't "show respect" to me, I'll get 5 of my men to beat the crap out of him and then I'll go to him, while he'll lying on the floor barely alive, pat his cheek and say: "It's purely business, it's not personal"... while he nods and struggles to say: "I understand".
Now GO!
Well, I guess the first thing I'd imagien myself doing is that if I feel anyone in the office didn't "show respect" to me, I'll get 5 of my men to beat the crap out of him and then I'll go to him, while he'll lying on the floor barely alive, pat his cheek and say: "It's purely business, it's not personal"... while he nods and struggles to say: "I understand".
Sunday, December 17, 2006
First Trans-Siberia, THEN THE WOOORLD!
Is it really time?! Ever since I was young I dreamt of my ULTIMATE trip, thee trip if you will. This trip is characterized by 2 things:
1. I have to take the Trans-Siberian train, which starts in Moscow and ends in Beijing .. a week later I believe.
2. I have to go AROUND THE WORLD! It's just the feeling, that I want to leave one place, head East and ONLY East, till I come back to the same place.
Now seeing I'm in Warsaw, I am seriously considering this option for Summer of 2007. How best to Celebrate 07.07.07 (my birthday btw) than by crossing the international Date Line over the pacific?!
So here's what I'm thinking:
1. Leave Warsaw to Moscow, Board the train, head all the way to Beijing.
2. Hop on a flight from Beijing to San Francisco.
3. Pick-up a car, drive till Chicago.
4. Fly to Warsaw.
In 2 weeks if I may add :S
Doable?
1. I have to take the Trans-Siberian train, which starts in Moscow and ends in Beijing .. a week later I believe.
2. I have to go AROUND THE WORLD! It's just the feeling, that I want to leave one place, head East and ONLY East, till I come back to the same place.
Now seeing I'm in Warsaw, I am seriously considering this option for Summer of 2007. How best to Celebrate 07.07.07 (my birthday btw) than by crossing the international Date Line over the pacific?!
So here's what I'm thinking:
1. Leave Warsaw to Moscow, Board the train, head all the way to Beijing.
2. Hop on a flight from Beijing to San Francisco.
3. Pick-up a car, drive till Chicago.
4. Fly to Warsaw.
In 2 weeks if I may add :S
Doable?
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
The 5-point rough guide
I don’t like having dinners here in the US, I believe there's a personality clash between me and your typical USofA waiter. If you are a waiter, pls go thru this 5-point rough guide to serving me:
1. I can barely remember the names of my friends, so pls dont waste my precious brain space with your name.
2. If I don't like my food I'll bitch about it, If I'm not bitching then I am enjoying.
3. Don’t interrupting me while I'm enjoying my meal, to ask "Is everything alright".
4. IF you absolutely have to interrupt then understand that the number of interruptions is inversely proportional to the % of tip I'm gonna leave you.
5. When I say "Thank you", I expect "you’re welcome" and not "you’re verry welcome". I just gave you my empty plate, let's be honest here.
1. I can barely remember the names of my friends, so pls dont waste my precious brain space with your name.
2. If I don't like my food I'll bitch about it, If I'm not bitching then I am enjoying.
3. Don’t interrupting me while I'm enjoying my meal, to ask "Is everything alright".
4. IF you absolutely have to interrupt then understand that the number of interruptions is inversely proportional to the % of tip I'm gonna leave you.
5. When I say "Thank you", I expect "you’re welcome" and not "you’re verry welcome". I just gave you my empty plate, let's be honest here.
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